


End Game

by KiwiChick42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Porn Watching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:14:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4594167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwiChick42/pseuds/KiwiChick42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean just had one more year of school left, all he had to do was keep his head down, get through the next year, and he was free. Free to finally be himself, for once in his life. </p><p>But then a dark haired, blue eyed boy gets beaten up for voicing his opinion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers!
> 
> Thank you for joining me on another journey! This ones quite a bit different from what i've written before, so i hope you like it :) 
> 
> (I know, I know, urg, another high-school AU, but i just wanted to try my hand at it, and see where it led, so be nice please haha)
> 
> I will add tags as i go, because it will be easier for me that way. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!!

“Does _anyone_ know the answer? Or do I have to set more homework that half of you probably won’t bother doing?”

Half a dozen hands shot into the air, desperate to stave off the threat of yet more homework. Dean just sat back and watched, aimlessly dragging his pen across his blank page. Sitting in the back had its pros and cons, and in this class, he was coming to learn that it was mainly a con.

“Mr Winchester, care to brighten my day with your input?” Mr Crowley’s raspy voice drifted down to the back of the class, pulling Dean from his self-imposed exile. He took his time looking up, slightly enjoying the narrowed eyed glare coming from his short, balding English teacher. He honestly didn’t know why Crowley had become a teacher. It was only two days into the new school year, and already he looked grumpy, ruffled and slightly hungover.  

“That depends what the question was, sir.” Dean wasn’t trying to be a dick on purpose, quite the opposite, in fact, but Crowley must have taken Deans very existence as a personal insult, because his scowl only deepened.

“I don’t appreciate your tone, _boy._ Now, answer the question.” Dean sighed, flicking his pen absently against his hand. He did know the answer, but it was so damn easy he didn’t know why Crowley had singled him out.

“Montague and Capulet.” Dean was convinced if Crowley’s scowl deepened any further, his face would fold into itself.

“Thank you! See, was it _really_ that hard?” Crowley turned back to the blackboard and Dean was left with a minor case of whiplash. He’d have to get used to the Englishman’s mood if he wanted to pass the class. He just hoped he wouldn’t pick on him too much. Maybe he could have a word with him, ask him to go easy.

No, he could do it. He just had to suck it up and deal with it.

Packing his stuff up at the end of class, Dean was surprised to see some girl standing over his desk.

“Ah, can I help you?” For some reason, the girl blushed and giggled nervously. He cringed inwardly, only the _second day_ and already it was starting up again.

“I was wondering, there’s a party this Saturday. Um, do you wana go with me?” Apart from the fact that he was going to say no anyway, he didn’t like it when people avoided eye contact when asking questions. It made him feel like they were afraid of the answer.

“Nah, sorry. I got this… thing on with my little brother.” He didn’t even bother saying ‘maybe another time’. Why they kept asking, he had no idea. Since when had ‘no’ started meaning ‘ask him again and he might say yes’, it made no sense. He hated seeing their faces fall every time, but it didn’t seem to dent their enthusiasm.

“Oh… that’s cool! That’s so nice that you hang out with your little brother!” God he really hated peppy girls. They always sounded so fake and unsubstantial. They just wanted his ‘pretty face’, as Chuck delighted in reminding him. It was actually kind of depressing, when he thought about it, which he tried not to a lot of the time. No one at this school, hell, even this town, really knew him, or wanted to get to know more about him other than to get in his pants.

Well, apart from Chuck.

And not the pants part.

Just, _Ew._

Peppy girl was looking at him strangely, and he realised he hadn’t responded, even though she hadn’t actually asked him a question. He was saved from further social torture by the second bell, and he hurried off to art, not even bothering with a glance back.

They all thought he was dark and mysterious, with his leather jacket and muscle car. He barely talked to anyone besides Chuck, and that was only because he appreciated silence as much as Dean. His teachers told his parents that he was withdrawn and sullen.

His parents knew better.

He loved his parents, more than the rest of his generation seemed to, anyway. They talked to him, listened to him and respected his opinion. They treated him like an adult, and he appreciated _that_ more than anything.

He was only a few minutes late to class, but his teacher, Ms Moseley, loved him, so she just waved him to his seat. Art was by far his favourite class, and it helped that he was pretty good at it.

They were still going over what they would need in their portfolios to pass the class, so Dean sat back and let the syllabus wash over him.

“Twenty percent of your grade is made up of stills from nature, and that can be done with anything from water colour to graphite.” She looked up from where she was reading, probably to make sure everyone was still paying attention. “Another twenty percent is still life, and that can be anything of your choosing, but the majority of your grade, because you’ve all chosen to do AP Art, is your sculpture. It can be from anything you can imagine, but it _must_ stick with the theme.” Ms Mosley adjusted her glasses and squinted down at the paper. “This year it’s something that inspires you. Now, isn’t _that_ original.” Some of his classmates laughed, it was well known how Ms Moseley felt about the syllabuses year after year.

Dean had no idea what he was going to focus on, but he wasn’t worried. He had plenty of time to think about it, and he could get some material together in case he came up with a total blank.

His other teachers always said they were ‘worried about him’. It made no sense to him, he did the work and he wasn’t disruptive or anything, but they still insisted there was something _wrong_ with him. They couldn’t accept that he was just quiet and reserved. He _hated_ any kind of attention and he didn’t like going to parties, no matter how many of the popular girls asked him to go.

The only reason Chuck understood him was because they were pretty similar, in a lot of ways. They both valued silence, which was good for Dean’s art and Chucks writing. He had pestered Dean into reading his Fanfiction, and he had to admit, it was pretty good. Of course, that had caused Dean to delve further into the void of Fanfiction, and he grudgingly admitted he was hooked. Chuck hadn’t even mocked him, just told him he was now his ‘beta’, whatever that was.

School days always felt like they had a personal vendetta against him, slowing down time to the point where it looked like the clock was actually going _backwards._

The bell rang, and Dean packed up his stuff, tipping it all into his backpack. He’d almost made it out the door before he heard his name being called behind him.

“Dean, can I have a word?” Dean turned back to Ms Moseley, standing next to her desk.

“I saw your work from last year, Dean. In fact, I’ve seen all of your work since you started at this school.” Ms Mosely, fearsome and motherly, was looking at him like she wouldn’t take any of his shit. “I know you have what it takes to do very well in this class. Now, I don’t believe a word of what the other teachers have put in your file.” Dean was fairly sure she shouldn’t be telling him what was on his permanent record, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. “You have talent, young man, so much _talent._ I don’t give a rat’s ass that you’re quiet or don’t stick your hand up in class. You do the work I set and I’ll leave you be. How does that sound?” Dean thought that sounded fucking fantastic, but he couldn’t exactly say that. So he settled with a politer version.

“That sounds great, thank you, Ms Moseley.” She waved her hand, essentially dismissing his gratitude.

“Don’t thank me, just don’t disappoint me, ya hear?” She gave him another look that brokered no argument, and he nodded, before making a tactical retreat. He wasn’t exactly _scared_ of his teacher, but he knew better than to get on her bad side. He’d heard enough around the school to know what happened when you pissed her off.

At least she had the sense to actually _listen_ to him.

* * *

 

By the time he made it all the way over to the other side of the school where the student parking lot was located, Sam was already waiting by the Impala. He waved when his brother noticed him, wondering when the hell he was going to get his hair cut. The shaggy brown hair was almost past his eyes, and he was forever having to swat it away to see. Their mother had been trying to convince him, but he steadfastly refused. He had to give it to the kid; he was a stubborn son of a bitch. Must run in the male side of the family, since him and his dad were the same.

“Heya, Sammy.” Dean ruffled his brother’s hair, smirking when Sam batted his hand away, huffing in annoyance.

“I _told_ you, Dean, don’t call me that.” Dean knew he hated it, but that’s what big brothers were for.

Climbing into the car, Sam chatted happily about his first few days of high school, and Dean couldn’t help feel a little bit jealous. His brother was a pro at making friends, all he had to do was bat his puppy dog eyes at someone and they pretty much fell at his feet. He was easy going and talkative, almost the total opposite of Dean.

It was a short drive from school to their house, but in that time Sam had already told him all about the new friends he’d made, including a girl in his class that he thought was cute.

 _Merciless_ teasing ensued, but to be honest, he didn’t know why Sam thought he’d do anything else _but_ that.

“Oh my _god,_ Dean. I haven’t even talked to her, just shut up, ok?” Dean wondered if he was ever a whiny teenager. He remembered being really quiet when he started high school, not much had changed there, and Chuck making his way over to where he sat, alone, in the cafeteria. He’d continued to do it all week, until Dean had plucked up the courage to ask why.

Chucks answer?

“You’re quiet.”

It was good enough then, and it was good enough now.

Parking in the garage and making their way inside, Dean unlocked the door and threw his bag by the table. He’d do his homework later, after his brain settled down and he’d had a snack. His parents wouldn’t be home until after six, he knew his dad had some extra work to catch up on at the garage and his moms shift didn’t finish at the hospital until then anyway.

He flopped on his bed when he got to his room, staring up at the poster of ACDC on his ceiling. He’d had a poster phase when he was fifteen, and then never had the heart to take any of them down. They just became part of his room, along with his dresser, double bed and desk. His laptop had been a present for Christmas, the only one he’d gotten but he’d been so grateful that it hardly mattered.

His parents were comfortable, but they weren’t frivolous by any means. He knew they were saving up to send Sam to a fancy college, and that was more than fine with him. He didn’t need to go to some fancy assed school to do what he wanted anyway.  Sam though, he wanted to be some big shot lawyer and that cost money. Dean knew he’d be good at it, too. From as early as he could remember, he’d been getting away with murder and had their mom wrapped around his finger.

Dean eased his way off his bed before making his way to his desk. Starting his laptop up, Dean wondered if Chuck had any more chapters he needed to be edited. He hoped not, that last sex scene had been _disturbing_ on so many levels.

Logging on to Facebook, he saw that he had three more friend requests and two party invites. They asked him in person, he said _no,_ pretty clearly and yet they sent him virtual invites as well. How long would it take them to figure out that he didn’t want any part of what they wanted to do?

He had a message from Chuck, asking him to review another chapter, _damnit,_ but nothing from anyone else. Big surprise there. None of the people that asked him to the parties or whatever actually stopped to talk to _him._ He knew everyone saw him as a bad boy, quiet and _dangerous._

_They couldn’t have been further from the truth._

The jocks thought he was _cool,_ even though he wasn’t on any sports team and the cheerleaders wanted him even though he wasn’t a jock. Every time he said no to some floozy looking for a good time, it was like he spurred their determination further.

_Yeah, made perfect sense._

Not that they would ever find out, but they just weren’t his _type._ So he would just keep saying no until they either got the message, or he graduated.

Whichever came first.

* * *

Chucks stories were quickly traumatising him, he was sure of it. Seriously, how much sex did one story need? He’d gotten to the point where he could just skip the sex scenes all together, because more often than not, they didn’t even pertain to the actual plot.

After reading through the chapter, Dean considered which horrible life choice had brought him to that moment. How on earth was he friends with a guy that not only wrote angel porn, but was actually _good_ at it too?

Chuck was the only person outside his family who knew about his particular _attractions,_ so of course Dean was the perfect sounding board to bounce ideas off for Chucks writing. He’d asked him once why he didn’t just write the stories with straight sex instead. He’d looked at him like he was in idiot, told him he was one, then went on to explain that for some reason, his readers wanted two dudes, so that’s what they were going to get. Chuck was as straight as they came, not that he gave any attention to much aside from his writing, so he needed Dean’s advice on certain things from time to time. Not that Dean had _any_ experience, but he wasn’t afraid to research, unlike Chuck. He’d received more than one horrified text or message with a link, more often than not leading to a porn website.

Seeing that the author was online, Dean thought it appropriate to vent his feelings.

**Dean: Dude, really?**

**Chuck: Did you read it?**

**Dean: I can’t believe you haven’t been banned from that website yet.**

**Chuck: Rules were meant to be bent.**

**Chuck: But seriously, what did you think?**

Dean closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of the horribly graphic, and mystifyingly detailed, Angel sex he had just been subjected to.

**Dean: It was… graphic**

**Chuck: Do you think it goes well with the story?**

None of the sex was strictly necessary, but Chuck’s readers seemed to like it, the more the better, apparently.

**Dean: I think your readers will enjoy it.**

**Chuck: Awesome. I aim to please :)** **  
**

Dean laughed to himself, yeah, that chapter was certainly going to please someone out there.

**Dean: You hear about the party on Saturday?**

As he waited for a reply, he opened a new word document for his English homework and typed his name, date and title. Dean wouldn’t give Crowley the satisfaction of giving him detention, especially not in the first week. Ms Moseley might have agreed to leave him alone, but the rest of his teachers were nothing like her.

The ding of a new message sounded from the other tab.

**Chuck: What do you think? Just a bunch of dicks getting drunk and fuckin around.**

**Dean: I couldn’t agree more man. You wana do something instead?**

Sam had something on that night, some smart kid thing that his parents were going to. So if Chuck didn’t want to do anything, it’d just be him, his hand and whatever delights the internet held.

 **Chuck: Sorry man, I got something on with my parents :(** **  
**

His hand it was then.

**Dean: Sucks man. All good. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, lunch?**

**Chuck: Yeah man, sounds good. I’ll have another chapter for you in a couple of days.**

**Chuck: Cya.**

**Dean: Do some school work, for fuck sake. Cya.**

Because they didn’t have any classes together, Dean and Chuck always met up for lunch to hash out various things. What movie they were gonna go see at the weekend, which jock they hated the most that week (at the moment it was Gordon) and if Dean was doing some cover art for Chuck, how that was going.

But for now, he had a shitty essay about Shakespearean literature to start. God _dammit_ he hated Crowley.  He’d needed basic English to graduate, so the only option was Mr Crowley’s class. Didn’t mean he had to like it, but he was also determined not to fail.

Halfway through stalling on the third paragraph, Dean decided he deserved a break, so wandered down stairs to start dinner. He liked helping his parents out, they did so much for him and Sam, they deserved a break somewhere, and if he could enable that, well then he would.

“Sammy, come here and give me a hand.” Didn’t mean he had to do it alone. Sam wandered in stretching his ridiculously long arms above his head.

“What do you want jerk?” Sam smirked at him, and Dean wondered when Sam had become such a snarky little bitch.

“You can start by cutting those onions, bitch.” Dean was making spaghetti Bolognaise, quick, easy and his parents both loved it.

By the time he had the pan bubbling, Sam was seated at the table doing his homework, and Dean had grabbed his sketchbook. Not too early to start hashing out ideas for his portfolio. It was quiet around the table, just the scratch of Dean’s pencil and Sam tapping his pen against the table.

“Dude, are you stuck on a question or something?” Dean asked after it felt like the tapping was drilling into his head.

“How do you know if a girl likes you?” Sam was looking at him like he held all the answers of the universe, which was ridiculous, and they both knew it. Dean snorted, and Sam quickly followed him.

“Are you serious? How in the hell would _I_ know that?” Sam just shook his shaggy head.

“I’m actually kinda serious, Dean. I wana know if Jess likes me before I ask her out. Is there like, a tell or something?” Dean knew it was a mistake teaching Sam how to play poker, and even worse that he knew all the tricks.

“Um, well it’s hard to tell without seeing you guys together. I think… if she laughs at your stupid jokes and shit like that, then yeah, go for it. No harm in trying, right?” He grinned over at his brother, who looked equal parts thrilled and terrified.

“So, have you got anyone…” Dean shot Sam a look that told him to just _stop._ “Sorry Dean.”

“You know how to finish dinner. I’ll be in my room.” Dean collected up his books, ignored Sam’s damn puppy dog eyes and went back to his room. Clutching his chest would have been all kinds of dramatic, but it felt like his heart was trying to rip its way out. Closing his door, Dean leant against it heavily, closing his eyes.

No, he didn’t have anyone, not even close. Regardless, so many rumors had been spread about him, getting off with all sorts of girls at every party he’d never even been to. Most of the girls he’d supposedly hooked up with, he was pretty sure he’d never even spoken to. In every ones minds at school, he was some kind of man whore who hooked up with random floozies and slipped off into the night, like a slutty batman.

Taking a shaky breath, Dean sat down on his bed and laid his head in his hands. He had his reasons for not wanting people to know he was gay. As far as he was concerned, it was his private business and he wanted to keep it that way. He lived in a small town, he went to a small school, only eight hundred kids. If anyone found out about his orientation… he wasn’t ready for that kind of attention. He wasn’t ashamed of it, far from it. He’d had his freak out when he was fourteen and realised he was getting more than his fair share of awkward boners after gym class.

Sam had found him after school, crying in his room. His ridiculous little brother had bounded up, all puppy dog eyes and stupid floppy hair. He’d just told Dean that he would love him, no matter what, and it didn’t matter to him who he liked, as long as he liked Sam the best. It managed to distract him enough to not miss their mother hovering in the doorway, her eyes soft and loving, watching her two boys.

She’d told him she loved him no matter what, but it was his decision whether to tell other people. She knew the kind of town they lived in.

His dad had just raised his eye brows and shrugged, telling him it didn’t matter to him what he stuck where. As long as he continued to be a good man and look after his brother, he’d do right by him.

Like he said, he loved his parents.

It didn’t stop the growing realisation that he was seventeen, _a senior,_ and had never even been _held_ by another person apart from his family. It made something inside him twist painfully, probably the part of him that wanted some physical fucking human connection.

Rolling onto his bed, Dean covered his eyes with his arm, willing the stinging behind his eyes to go away. The last thing his parents needed was to come home to their oldest son serving them dinner with red rimmed, blood shot eyes.

The tight feeling in his chest wouldn’t let up, and when he felt the first tears flow from his eyes and dribble down into his ears, he choked back a sob. He was being stupid, crying in his goddamn room like a girl. He was happy in his life, he had everything he needed. Well, maybe not _happy,_ but content. Yeah, _content._

 _Content_ was a shitty word. He wanted to rip _content_ apart.

There was a small, tentative knock on his door, so he sat up, wiping his eyes as best he could. He was a teenage boy, why the hell didn’t he keep some tissues in his room?

Sam’s solemn face peaked around the door, gaze burning a hole in the wooden floor.

“I’m real sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to… I know it’s hard for you…” Dean watched as his stupidly awkward little brother edged his way further into his room. “I just… is there anything I can do?” Dean was amazed at how Sam constantly turned the tables on their relationship. Dean was the one who was supposed to take care of _Sam._ That was how it went; big brother took care of little brother. More often than not, though, it was Sam showing _Dean_ the logic of the situation, or telling him when he was being a dick.

He let Sam sit down next him and wrap his orang-utan arms around his shoulders. His hugs _did_ help, not that Dean would _ever_ admit it, but it was the only physical human contact he’d had in like, a _week,_ so he was a little desperate as well.

“Nah Sammy, its ok. I’ve just gotta… suck it up.” Dean wouldn’t even _think_ about how that sounded like it had a double meaning, especially not around his brother.

“Would it really be that bad if… if people knew, Dean? You could find someone, be – be _happy.”_ Shit, had he really been that transparent?

“I am happy, Sam.” His brother looked at him like he didn’t believe that for shit, and neither did Dean. He ran a hand through his short, dark hair. “Its just not worth the drama, Sam. You know what this towns like, what _school’s_ like.” He turned to look at Sam, a watery, shaky smile on his lips. “I just have to get through this year, then I’m out. I can go to college, not too far, and _then_ I can be myself.” Sam looked doubtful, but smiled anyway.

“I just want you to be happy, Dean. You can’t be happy if you have to hide parts of yourself.” Fucking hell, his minor moose of a little brother was going to be one hell of a lawyer.

He ruffled Sam’s hair, knowing that would break him out of his doom and gloom mood. “You should write a book, Yoda.”

Sam batted his hands away, huffing indignantly. “Fuck off, Dean, we were having a _moment.”_

Dean snorted, well and truly leaving their _moment_ in the dust. “Well, you and your moment are more than welcome to stay here, but I just heard Mom and Dad get home. So unless you want your dinner cold…” Dean left the threat hanging in the air as Sam got up slowly, looking back at Dean from the doorway.

“Whatever happens, Dean, I’ll back you up.” Sam looked so wise for his fourteen years, and he shouldn’t. He was supposed to be carefree and happy, not worried about when life was going to come and kick his brothers ass.

“I know you will Sammy, I know.” Dean smiled, his heart tightening in love for his little brother. “Thanks.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next one, yay. 
> 
> Now this wont be a common occurrence, i'm just going to post them as i write them. I don't have a lot of time at the moment, so i don't want to make any promises :)
> 
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> Thank you for your comments and Kudos so far :)
> 
> WARNINGS AT THE END

Dean was startled from his sketching when Chuck threw his tray down opposite him.

“I hate those fucking jocks.” Dean grimaced, wondering what the hell the football team had done. It didn’t take much to ruffle Chuck’s feathers, and when they were ruffled, the culprit usually ended up deep fried in the newest chapter he was working on.

“What have they done now?” Dean asked, putting his book away in favour of the highly unappetising _food_ in front of him. Seriously, how could any self-respecting person call that lump of meat and bread a _burger._

“Some guy in my social sciences class, they just beat the crap out of him because he questioned the teachers opinion on gay rights. I mean, he was right, and I _agree_ with him, but I wasn’t gonna stick my hand up and shout it out for the world to hear.” Chuck gave him a small, sympathetic smile. “I prefer my kidneys _inside_ my body.” Dean shrugged, the jocks reaction was _exactly_ what he wanted to avoid at _all costs._ The guy was probably totally innocent, asking _why_ the teacher thought a certain way, and the stupid bigoted jocks had lashed out.

Dean shuddered to think what would happen if they ever found out about _his_ opinion.

“Is he – was he ok?” Dean hoped he was, no one deserved that, especially someone who clearly wanted to open their mind to others views and thoughts. There should be more of it in the school. Chuck answered around a mouthful, spiting burger everywhere.

“I helped him to the nurse’s office.” Dean raised an eyebrow. That was a pretty ballsy thing to do, especially for Chuck. The other guy saw his look and smirked. “They aren’t going to touch the son of a cop, Dean.” He snorted, Chuck was right; they wouldn’t risk pissing off the law.

A few minutes passed in silence, and Dean used it to scout the cafeteria, just in case that poor guy had made it back from the nurse’s office. There wasn’t anything he could do, though. Dean couldn’t risk talking to him, in case the jocks targeted him instead. It was exactly what he was trying to avoid. Chuck must have seen him looking around, and like the best friend that he was, read his mind.

“I don’t think he’ll be coming back any time soon. They really did a number on him.” Chuck looked disgusted again, and Dean was again thankful of his friend’s acceptance of pretty much everything. Chuck had the most open mind of anyone he’d ever met; he supposed that was why he was so great at writing. All the books he’d read must have helped mold his mind into the creative, and sometimes terrifying, creature that it was.

“Do you know his name?” Dean hoped he didn’t sound too desperate, but for some reason, he really wanted to talk to the mysterious guy. Chuck was awesome, like, the _best_ friend anyone could hope for, but Sam was right, he needed to open up a little more, try and make more friends. He just hoped the guy, _he hoped Chuck knew his name,_ was an alright dude.

“Uh, yeah, his names Cas. Yeah, Cas. Dunno what its short for, or if it’s short for anything. He’s real, _quiet,_ but not in the ‘I hate Monday’s’ kinda way, in the ‘I’m actually listening in class’ kinda way. The dumb fuck teacher was putting on a spiel about how gays shouldn’t get married and he can’t believe the new law they put through blah blah fucking blah. Teachers aren’t even allowed an opinion, so fuck knows what he was doing.” Dean could tell Chuck was pissed, he only really swore when something riled him up and he had a feeling it was the gay rights issue, rather than _Cas_ getting beaten up.

“It’s ok, man. Well, it’s _not,_ but it’s not like we can do anything about it. You know what this towns like, old money and even older families.” Chuck blew out a breath, they generally knew how to calm each other down, and Dean knew _all_ of Chuck’s diversion topics. “You got a new chapter for me yet? I’m getting too good a night’s sleep; my body doesn’t know what to do without your nightmare inducing angel porn.”

Chuck snorted, pulled from his bad mood. “Yeah, actually, I do. Don’t worry though, no sex in this one.” Dean blew out an exaggerated sigh of relief and Chuck rolled his eyes. “Yeah, the guys pregnant so –“

“You have _got_ to be shitting me.”

* * *

 

Dean  _really_ didn’t want to read the chapter that Chuck had sent him, but he really had no choice. He had said he would, and let no one say that Dean Winchester didn’t stick to his word. Closing his eyes, he opened the tab and had just started the first line when –

_Ping_

Thank fuck for small mercies. Opening up his Facebook, he saw a message from Chuck.

**Chuck: Have you read it yet**

**Dean: I was just about to when you messaged me**

**Chuck: Ok well it can wait**

Dean thought that was weird, Chuck’s stories always seemed to take precedence over everything, including school work.

**Chuck: Cas messaged me, thanking me for taking him to the nurse**

_That_ caught his attention.

**Dean: Really? How was he?**

Dean hoped his enthusiasm wasn’t showing through too much, he didn’t want to offend Chuck.

**Chuck: Yeah, just some bruising, nothing too serious**

**Dean: Awesome, good to know he’s ok.**

**Dean: So… have you got any other classes with him?**

Dean drummed his fingers nervously on his desk. He shouldn’t be nervous asking that kind of stuff, but it wasn’t like he’d done it before.

**Chuck: Yeah, I’ve got AP English and Classics with him.**

**Chuck: Why?**

Dean swallowed, throat suddenly dry. Chuck was an excellent judge of character, but he didn’t know how to just ask his best friend about Cas.

So like the chicken shit that he was, he backed off.

**Dean: No reason**

**Chuck: Dude, do you wana talk to him?**

**Chuck: Because… that would be kinda risky.**

**Chuck: If the jocks already have him on their radar…**

Dean knew Chuck was right, but that didn’t stop him from _wanting_ it. If he talked to Cas, the jocks would no doubt jump to the conclusion that Dean was of the same opinions, even if he _was,_ he didn’t want them to know that. 

**Dean: I know man. It’s just… hard.**

**Dean: You know.**

**Chuck: Yeah, man, I know. Hell, I’m all for us making new friends, but I’m not willing to risk you in the process. I’ve seen what those fuck knuckles can do.**

Dean shuddered, yeah; he had seen what they could do to. For some reason, the teachers seemed to turn a blind eye to their various acts of intimidation and violence. Their leader, and captain, Gordon, was the worst. He was honestly the most violent, angry, homophobic asshole Dean had ever come across.

**Dean: Thanks man, I know you’ve always got my back.**

**Dean: So, why did you tell me he’d messaged you then?**

He knew Chuck wasn’t a dick, so why he’d told him about it was a mystery.

**Chuck: Well, just because you can’t talk to him at school, doesn’t mean you can’t talk to him online.**

Dean laughed, rocking back on his chair. Chuck was a devious bastard. He was also a genius, but Dean frowned. How on earth do you explain to someone that you wanted to talk to them online, but couldn’t talk to them at school?

**Dean: That’s not really fair though. I mean, he’d see it at face value. Me wanting to talk to him online, but not at school? He'd think i was a major dick.**

**Chuck: I know what you mean… but it’s either trust him and see what happens, or just let the whole thing go.**

Dean sighed, he knew Chuck was right, but that didn’t make him feel any better. If he explained the situation to Cas, Dean ran the risk of Cas spilling his secret all over school. Dean chewed his lip, deliberating which the less risky course of action was. Sam’s voice drifted into his head, and he clenched his jaw. He wouldn’t get far in life if he didn’t take risks.

Oh fuck it; he only had a few more months left at that hell hole anyway. It wasn’t like they would kill him for being gay.

**Dean: Ok, let’s do it.**

**Chuck: If you guys end up in some epic romance, I am SO writing that shit.**

**Dean: As long as I don’t have to read myself having sex, that’s fine with me.**

* * *

 

“Can you point him out to me?” Dean asked Chuck, who was looking at his burrito in disgust. He looked up when Dean nudged him with his foot under the table. “Dude, what does he look like?”

Chuck narrowed his eyes but grinned at him, and Dean knew he could see a slight evil tinge to it. Looking around the filling cafeteria, Chuck caught sight of his target, using his carton of milk to point to a dark haired guy sitting with his back to them.

“Well that helps. So he’s got dark hair, great.” Dean turned back to his food, disappointed that Cas hadn’t sat on the other side of the table. Which… was stupid, really. It didn’t matter what he looked like, he just wanted to talk to him, maybe make a new friend. It wasn’t like he was going to date the guy. That would be… well, _impossible._

“For god’s sake, Dean. Just Facebook stalk him like every other member of our generation, seriously.” Chuck laughed at him, and Dean grumbled that he wasn’t _like_ every other member of their generation. “I’m _aware_ of that, mc’broody, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use the technology at your disposal.”

“What if his settings are private?” Dean asked, just as the bell rang for the end of lunch. He was getting ridiculously antsy about bridging the gap with Cas, but he _would_ find a way to talk to him. Chuck just sighed next to him.

“Then I’ll friend him. Stop worrying about it.”

It was all he _could_ worry about, all through his afternoon classes. He showed Ms Moseley a few of his rough sketches which she seemed happy with, and handed his homework in to Crowley, _early,_ which earned him a narrow eyed scowl.

Actually, it looked more like a grimace.

Dean couldn’t decide if Crowley was happy with him, or if he was having a small stroke.

“Was there something else, Winchester?” Crowley’s rough voice scraped down his spine, and Dean was convinced the guy must have one hell of a smoking problem. He realised belatedly he’d been hovering around his desk, waiting for god only knows what. Dean shook his head, practically running out the door into the crowded hallway.

 _Goddamnit_ , his teachers must think he’s all kinds of nuts.

“Sorry, Dean. One of my teachers wanted to talk to me about some extra credit work.” Dean smiled; of course his brother would be _happy_ about extra work from his teachers.

“You are some kinda super nerd, you know that, Sammy?” Dean was so proud of his little brother, and Sam new it, blushing under his long brown hair.

“Shut up.”

“So how’s that girl in your class, Jess? You talk to her yet?” Dean didn’t think it was possible for Sam to blush any deeper, but there he went. “So, is that a yes?”

“She’s in biology with me, and I asked her if she wanted to study with me… _she said yes, Dean.”_ For some unfathomable reason, his weird little brother whispered the chicks answer. It hit Dean that Sam was _surprised_ by her answer.

“Of course she said yes, dude. She knows your smart, and everyone knows you’re awesome, what’s not to like?” Sam’s grin lit him up from the inside. He was damn near radiant. This mysterious Jess was obviously good for him.

“Thanks, man.”

“No problem, dude.”

* * *

 

Dean was  _more_ than happy it was the weekend.

_So_ happy.

While it gave him time to sketch, maybe even to paint a little, it also meant that Chuck had at _least_ more than one chapter for him to review, and he really didn’t like his chances for getting away unscathed the first weekend back to school. Chuck liked to take his frustrations out by writing, which was _fine,_ because everyone was allowed an outlet. But for some reason, the shittier the week had been, the more… _intense_ the writing became.

Dean was staring at the words in front of him, trying to work his confused brain around what it had just read.

_Some things can never be un – imagined._

Bringing up a fresh tab, Dean loaded Facebook and typed out a message to Chuck.

**Dean: I just… _what?_**

Dean read over the chapter again, and still couldn’t work out what the hell was happening. It seemed like it was a fairly important part of the story, but he just couldn’t get past the part where the _dude_ had a friggen _baby._

A message pinged from the other tab, and Dean thankfully clicked over.

**Chuck: What?**

**Chuck: Did it not make sense?**

**Dean: It did I just… wow it was graphic**

**Chuck: Well that’s how I wanted it**

Dean sighed, rubbed a hand through his hair and thought about what to say, without hurting his best friend.

**Dean: Dude, a guy having a baby it’s just…**

**Chuck: yeah, I know what you’re thinking**

**Chuck: it’s weird, yeah?**

**Dean: YES**

**Dean: did you have to be so damn… graphic?**

**Chuck: I am literally laughing myself out of my chair right now man**

**Chuck: Yes, I did, my readers LOVE it, I dunno why but it makes my ratings SKY ROCKET**

Dean shook his head, laughing to himself. People liked to pretend, in public, that they were normal and vanilla. But show them some Fanfiction, where all their wildest fantasies were laid before them, some they didn’t even know they had and the creature was released. Dean had complained _at length_ to Chuck about the fact that _he_ had introduced him to the bottomless pit that was Fanfiction, and currently, anything that didn’t have a werewolf in it; he didn’t want to know about it.

**Dean: Yeah, man, I’m sure they do.**

**Dean: Any news from Cas?**

He had no idea why he wanted to talk to Cas so much, but he guessed it stemmed from his first impression of the guy, namely, the fact that he didn’t agree with the ignorant fuck of a teacher. If he had the opportunity to make a new friend, one that he could _trust,_ as well as Chuck, of course, then he would get behind that, one hundred percent.

**Chuck: Uh, yeah, actually. We got to talking…**

Dean felt a warm tingling sensation flush throughout his entire body, and he shivered, reveling in the feeling. His mom would say it was someone walking over your grave, but that was _way_ too morbid for what Dean was currently feeling. No, what he felt was the possibility of something new, something… _exciting._

**Dean: And???**

**Chuck: Well, he’s coming over to mine to study on Sunday…**

**Chuck: Thought you might wana tag along :P**

**Dean: Did you actually just do that**

**Chuck: yeah I did**

**Chuck: you deserved it**

**Dean: so he’s actually coming to your place**

**Chuck: yeah, dude. Perfect place for you to sus him out.**

**Dean: Have I told you lately how much I love you**

**Chuck: yeah yeah dude, you know you’re not my type :)** **  
**

**Chuck: just remember what I said about exclusive rights to your epic love story**

**Dean: just promise me neither of us get pregnant**

**Chuck: no guarantees, dude**

* * *

 

Dean decided to follow Chucks advice and Facebook stalk Cas, just so he wasn’t completely blindsided on Sunday. He went to type in the guy’s name when he realised he didn’t even know his last name.

Well, shit.

There goes that plan.

Sighing, Dean shook his head, thinking instead how he should spend the rest of his night alone. His parents and Sam wouldn’t be back until late, so he had the house to himself, which meant if he wanted, he could do whatever he pleased.

This obviously meant not having to wear headphones watching porn on his laptop. When his family were around, which was pretty much always, he couldn’t risk not wearing headphones, scaring them for life by porn was not healthy for family relations.

Placing his laptop onto his bed, he rummaged around in his bedside table for a half empty bottle of lube he knew was in there from last time. Once he found it, he put it with the tissues he’d grabbed from the bathroom he shared with Sam. Shucking off all of his clothes, because he _could,_ goddamnit, he was alone, he could be naked if he wanted, he jumped onto his bed.

He felt the anticipation bubbling under his skin, causing his quickly hardening cock to jump against his stomach. He was quite proud of his body, all the running he did finally seemed to be paying off. He was slowly starting to build enough muscle tone to not look like a skinny little teenager. He tensed his stomach and watched his abs flex, dick jumping along with them.

He usually read some Fanfiction before getting into any porn, just so he would be quick but tonight he could find a decent video and take his time. He loved his family, but he was counting down the days until he could go to college. Some actual privacy would be nice, even if he had a roommate, he was sure they could work something out.

Clicking onto his usual porn site, he hovered over the small squares of video giving him a sneak peak of the content. He didn’t like the ones with heavily muscled guys pounding into each other, or the big ‘bears’ banging tiny ‘twinks’.

_Damn chuck and his need for ‘proper terms’._

Nah, he preferred the ones that were clearly homemade, by people who obviously loved each other. To have the kind of trust and commitment to put something so intimate and passionate on the internet… it was something Dean craved, more than he felt comfortable admitting.

Finding an acceptable video took longer than normal, but he was looking for something specific. Finally, he chanced upon one that suited his needs for the night, and he clicked on the little box. He paused the video, letting it load, because come _on;_ there was no bigger cock blocker than lag.

Slicking up one palm with lube, he flinched when be lowered his hand to his cock and hot flesh met cold gel. Turning on his sound, and playing the video, happy noises floated over his speakers, causing his heart to clench. Sounds of light kissing, giggling and laughing, whispered words of affection, promises and declarations. Dean closed his eyes, holding his cock loosely with one hand while rubbing his thigh in slow motions with the other. He _liked_ being touched everywhere; it made him feel grounded, like someone else might be touching him.

The two on the screen changed position, and Dean heard a whispered ‘I’m ready, babe’. He closed his eyes, letting the sounds of two lovers connecting wash over him, imagining it was him and his own man. He pushed down the lump of emotion building up in his throat, willing himself to deal with it later because right then he wanted to feel _happy,_ to imagine a better reality.

His fist tightened when he heard one of the men on screen groan, and he opened his eyes, watching the screen as the one who was topping eased into his lover. The light was pretty bad, so he couldn’t see them very well, but he didn’t need that. He enjoyed the noises they made, the words they spoke in the heat of the moment, better than their anonymous faces.

Deans breathing increased as his fist pumped up and down his leaking cock, absorbing the sound of two people who loved each other show it in the most primal way. They picked up the pace as they neared the end, as did Dean. He could feel his own climax approaching, the slow hot _burn_ wind its way down his chest and settle deep in his groin. He switched his attention to his fist, and watched in fascination as his cock head disappeared then reappeared through his foreskin. He wasn’t terrifyingly large or anything, but he was sort of proud of his junk. He kept it well groomed, if only for his own enjoyment.

His head jerked up to the screen as the words he had been waiting for filtered over the speakers.

“I’m gonna cum, _oh god,_ please, _fuck…”_ The words dissolved into an unintelligible moan, before the man on bottom shouted his release. The man on top’s movements became stuttered and jerky, as he neared his own. Dean sped up, thrusting up into his fist as best he could with his laptop on his legs.

Dean felt his balls tuck up and he had just enough time to angle his dick over his stomach before he was cumming, slick white ropes painting his abs and chest as he tensed and moaned.

The two men on screen panted and laughed, petting each other and whispering words of love and –

Dean clicked out of the video as fast as he could. He could feel the tears streaming down his face and he was more than mortified with himself.

Who the hell _cries_ after a fap?

It had happened before, he was aware that the surge of endorphin's and hormones made it more likely for emotions to rear up and break the surface, but that didn’t make it any easier when it happened. He’d done his research, and he knew at least he wasn’t alone.

He scrubbed angrily at his face, using the tissues he’d grabbed for clean up to wipe his away the evidence of his breakdown. Cleaning the come off himself was disgusting as always, and he threw everything in his rubbish bin with a vengeance. He turned off his laptop and put it back on his desk.

Dean pulled on some underwear and climbed into bed, not wanting to think about anything that had happened in the last half hour, but his brain was unwilling to let sleeping dogs lie.

_Would it really be so bad if everyone found out about our… preferences?_

His mind could be a real dick sometimes, asking him questions he found almost impossible to answer. He didn’t know what would happen if he suddenly came out, but he knew the jocks would certainly have a new target. No one would go near him after that, apart from Chuck, but he didn’t count. Nothing would change, really, except people would whisper things behind their hands and stare at him. He’d had the conversation a million times with himself, but it always came back to one conclusion.

He’d remain single, but with the added bonus of bruises and humiliation.

No, the tears and heartache – _fuck he sounded like one of Chuck’s damn stories –_ were far easier to deal with than physical injuries. He could hide the mental scars; it was the ones his parents could see that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

_But what about Cas? Why the sudden interest in him?_

He had to agree there, he really had no idea. From what Chuck had said though, he was a good guy and Chuck was an excellent judge of character. He hadn’t made a new friend in a long time, and he did need the practice before he headed off to college.

His mind settled down around the time he heard his parents and Sam arrive home, talking quietly in case he was asleep. Dean turned over when he heard them coming up the stairs, his mom saying goodnight to Sammy before a door closed. He heard his own door creak open, and he closed his eyes, willing his body to stay still. It’s not like he didn’t want to talk to his parents, but he was done interacting with humanity tonight, he was too emotionally exhausted.

He heard his mom sigh, and his dad must have been there too.

“I wish there was something we could do, John.” His heart ached at the sadness in his mom’s voice, and it made him feel so shitty that he’d been the one to cause it. He heard his dad move, probably wrapping his arms around his mom.

“Dean knows what’s best for him, Mary. If he wants to tell people, he’ll tell them. It’s his choice what he wants to do. We’ve just gotta be there if all turns to shit.” His dad was scarily right, but when was he not?

“I just want him to be happy.” The heartbreak he heard made his own heart want to jump right out of his chest and close his mom in a giant hug.

“Once he goes off to college, he’ll have the boys lining up. He just has to get through the next few months.” Dean wanted to laugh, hearing his dad talk like he was some kind of sex god was hilarious. “Come on, I’ll wake up early and cook them both a hearty breakfast.”

His parents left, closing his door, and Dean let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. His whole body ached with the knowledge that even his parents could see he was so unhappy. How had he been so transparent?

He didn’t like letting himself think about how unhappy he actually _was._ He wasn’t depressed, because Chuck did some kind of test on him and said he was clear, but he certainly wasn’t a box of fucking birds.

Getting a boyfriend wouldn’t cure his problems, he knew that much. But maybe Sam was right, maybe some part of him was so unhappy _because_ he was hiding himself from others. Maybe if he allowed that part of him out of the little box he’d locked it in, he finally feel _free._

Dean pulled the covers up around his head and closed his eyes, thankful his brain had stopped for the night. The last thing he thought before sleep overcame him was he had Chucks plan, and that would have to do for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR 
> 
> \- Masturbation  
> \- He's a minor because he's seventeen  
> \- Porn watching  
> \- Angst  
> \- Very slight implied homophobia


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love this fic is getting, it makes me so happy :D
> 
> No warnings for this one, just some general teenage angst lol. 
> 
> Please comment and Kudos!!

_Why the hell are you so nervous… it’s not like it’s a date…_

Dean shuffled on Chuck’s doorstep, readjusted his backpack and ran a shaky hand through his hair. He _was_ nervous; it wasn’t like they did this kind of thing all that often.

Just as he started to mentally list all of the things that could wrong that day, Chuck appeared on the other side of the door.

“Hey, Dean. Come on in. You know you don’t have to wait on the step like some bible seller.” Chuck turned away, leading the way back into the house. It wasn’t anything special, just your run of the mill, three bedroom, open plan house. Dean closed the door behind him, and caught up to Chuck who had situated himself once again in the living room. “My dad’s out for the day, so the house is ours.” Chuck grinned at him, waving an arm at the stack of snacks on the table.

“That’s awesome, dude.” Dean set his own bag down and took out his books. He didn’t have much homework, but he could always sketch while the other two did theirs. Speaking of… “Uh, when’s Cas getting here?” Dean tried for casual, but it clearly failed, if the knowing grin on Chucks face was anything to go by.

“He’ll be here soon; I wanted you here earlier so you could relax. I know you would’ve built this up in your head,” Dean ducked his head and blushed, _damn Chuck and his eerily good perception._ “Yeah, I thought so, I’m _that_ good a friend. Anyway, sit down and breathe, dude.” Dean laughed, pushing playfully at Chucks shoulder. He must have saved the world, at least twice, in a past life, to deserve such a good friend as Chuck.

However, ten minutes later when there was a knock at the door that almost made Dean jump out of his skin, he was ready to slap the leering look off his smug little face.

Chuck jumped up, disappearing down the hall to answer the door. Dean shook himself; he was getting himself way too worked up for just a study group. As the voices drifted down towards him, he turned; plastering on a smile he hoped didn’t look too forced.

“Cas, that’s Dean. Hope you don’t mind that I invited him too.” Chuck took his seat in one of the arm chairs, and it was only then that Dean realised he was sitting on the couch, the only other seat being directly beside him.

Cas smiled, tilted his head in a stupidly heart-warming way and sat down next to Dean.

“Hello, Dean. It’s nice to meet you.” _Holy fucking Christ,_ he hoped he wasn’t blushing as hard as he thought he was, because it probably looked like he was having a stroke. But his _voice,_ how in the hell did a teenager have a voice that low? Was he sent here by some malevolent force just to make his fucking hormones soar into overdrive?

“Uh, nice – nice to meet you to, Cas.” He had to clear his throat. It felt like all of his internal organs were fighting to be the first to erupt out of his chest; his heart was beating so hard. He looked over at Chuck, and wanted to slap him all over again when he saw the bastard typing away furiously on his laptop, looking up at the two of them every so often.

_He had better not be doing what I think he’s doing_

“So, Dean,” He snapped his head around, slightly startled by Cas talking to him, “I haven’t seen you around school much, what classes do you have?” Dean wondered where he had seen him before, because he would have certainly remember those beyond blue eyes and those plush pink lips and that dark hair that looked like it was soft and thick and –

Chuck cleared his throat from across the room, saving Dean from his staring match with Cas’ lips. Fuck, he must think he’s the biggest weirdo, oh _god,_ what if he gets offended, calls him all sorts of names, fuck fuck _fuck._

Cas raised an eyebrow, smiling in a bemused sort of way and Dean realised, like the cluster fuck that he was, that he _still hadn’t answered._

“Uh, I take AP art, graphic design, those sorts. Um, basic English.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, hoping against hope that Cas just thought he was weird and left it at that. He could crawl into his hole of embarrassment later.

Cas surprised him by laughing, the sound watering over Dean like the parched desert earth.

“Oh my god, have you got Crowley?” Dean just nodded, trying to clear his fuzzy head that was still filled with Cas’ laughter. “He is the _biggest_ bag of dicks, right?”

Dean laughed, because yeah, he was. “Yeah, he reminds me of a bond villain. But like, one that knows he’s gonna get busted, and he’s just there, like, get it over with all ready.” Cas was doubled over, gasping at Deans explanation. Dean looked over at Chuck, who was still typing, but gave him a discreet thumbs up anyway.

“Oh god, that was the best description of him I’ve ever heard. I had him last year, and he made everyone’s life _hell._ This one chick in my class, Meg, she nicknamed him the King of Hell.” Cas wiped his eyes, turning around to meet Deans eyes, his ocean blue ones fixed on Deans green. “The weirdest thing was, he _liked it.”_ Cas shook his head, probably at the audacity of their English teacher.

“Yeah, he’s a snarky son of a bitch alright.” Cas turned to get stuff out of his bag, Dean assumed for the study they should be doing, so Dean grabbed his sketch book and started doodling.

They had been at it for about an hour before Chuck stretched, put his laptop down and declared it was break time.

“Thank fuck for that, I was starting to get cramp.” Dean shook his hand out, closed his book and chucked it on the table. He was focusing on animals at the moment, for the environmental part of the syllabus. He enjoyed drawing them, putting emotion into their eyes, because fuck anyone that said animals didn’t feel shit.

“I thought that hand would get a lot of use, Dean.” He shoved Chuck playfully as they made their way into the kitchen. Dean took a seat at the breakfast bar, watching as Chuck started the coffee machine.

“Well, it _would_ if you hurried up with your next chapter, I can’t get enough of that angel shit.” Chuck laughed, because he knew he was joking, _obviously,_ but Cas just looked confused, and kind of embarrassed, shit. Way to make a good impression.

“Sorry, Cas. I was joking, the stuff he writes, it’s not really my style.” Dean shrugged, hoping his explanation was good enough. Cas pursed his lips together, frowning in an oddly hot way.

 _Do_ not _think about that, for fuck sake._

“What do you write, Chuck?” Cas asked his friend, tilting his head to the side, and Dean _really_ wished he’d stop doing that to give his heart a break.

“Uh, I write Fanfiction. Mainly about that show, um, Supernatural?” Cas frowned before his eyes widened in and a huge smile spread across his face.

“Really? That’s awesome! Can I read some?” Cas was grinning, and Dean didn’t really know what had just happened. He didn’t know anyone outside of Chuck that actually read Fanfiction, and Cas’ reaction was beyond confounding. Chuck looked like all his Christmas’s had come at once.

“Yes! I mean, ah, yeah, come on, I’ll show you.” Taking their drinks into the living room, Chuck clicked around on his laptop, bringing up one of his latest stories. Dean laughed, collapsing down on the couch.

“Dude, you’re gonna get traumatised. He makes me read through them before he puts them online. No story needs that much sex, seriously.” Chuck just shook his head, looking over Cas’ shoulder.

“Dude, every good story needs some romance.” Dean rolled his eyes, bringing his pencil across to shade the rough coat of the wolf he was drawing. Yeah, he had a slight obsession, there was nothing wrong with it, he wasn’t hurting anyone.

“This is very good, Chuck.” Cas smiled at Chuck, who looked like he was trying to be modest, and failing horribly. “If you tell me your username, I will be sure to bookmark your stories.”

“Awesome, dude, thanks.” Chuck looked over at Dean, and gave him a searching look, one that he couldn’t figure out. “Uh, so, what happened with those jocks that jumped you?” Cas visibly tensed, and Dean knew Chuck had struck a nerve.

“Those bigoted dick heads saw something that was different and it scared them. They didn’t understand it, and therefore they had the natural human reaction. They tried to destroy it.” Dean didn’t say anything, and if he hadn’t been fully aware of it, his mouth would have been hanging open. Cas sounded… well… _pissed._

“I know what you mean, man. It – well it sucks that people have to live in fear of them, in fear of the people in this town. No one should have to hide who they really are.” Chuck didn’t even bother looking away from Dean when he said it, and it terrified him. Cas was obviously smart, if he was in classes with Chuck, that meant he might figure out where Chuck was going with his little speech. Dean didn’t know if he was ready for that, even if Cas did seem like a stand-up guy.

Cas must not have seen the glare Dean shot Chuck, because he just sighed, and rubbed a hand through his amazing black hair. “It’s frustrating, the attitude around this place. No one gets it, really. Well, Charlies does, but she doesn’t count.”

Dean felt his heart flutter uncomfortably in his chest at the mention of a girl. There was a good chance _Charlie_ was just a friend of Cas’, and it made him feel a lot better thinking of it like that, than anything else.

It was at that point that Dean realised he hadn’t actually said anything, and the last thing he wanted was for him to think he was homophobic too.

“Those dick bags are just listening to their parents. You grow up with prejudice; you gotta be a pretty strong person to fight the cycle.” Chuck was nodding, and Cas was staring at him again, head tilted to the side. He really had to stop doing that, or Dean was going to have heart failure at a very young age. “Uh, so did they rough you up badly?” Cas smiled ruefully, before raising his hand to run his fingers over his ribs.

“They only hit me where no one could see the bruises.”

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean didn’t know exactly what he was apologising for, but he thought maybe for the ignorance and violence of his fellow man. It was stupid, he’d only just met Cas, and yet his hands itched with the urge to touch him, to comfort him. Cas just smiled though, totally, blissfully unaware of Deans inner turmoil.

“Thank you, Dean. It’s alright though, I was fully aware of what the consequences would be if I choose to voice my opinion. I felt it prudent to express how I felt, to at least _try_ and educate those ignorant mud monkeys.” Wow, Cas could really roll with the righteous speeches, and Dean found himself impressed.  Chuck must have felt the same.

“Well, Yeah! That’s the spirit! Now, who wants some pizza?”

The rest of the afternoon passed fairly quickly, Cas quietened down on the subject of the jocks and instead started discussing Fanfiction. Dean tuned them out, he had to listen to Chuck ramble on about it every day, and he didn’t want to have to listen then as well. Cas seemed pretty into it, and Dean was glad they were all getting on so well. He hoped Cas wanted to study with them again sometime, or maybe go to a movie, or just hang out –

“Dean?” He blinked up at Cas, who was standing and had his backpack on. He must have really zoned out, he hoped he hadn’t missed something crucial. Dean jumped off the couch, almost upending his books in his haste.

“Uh, you heading out, Cas?” Damn him and his stupid questions, Cas must think he’s the biggest pile of dumb _ever._

“Yes, Dean. My parents are expecting me home soon.” Cas smiled at him, and Dean noticed that Chuck wasn’t in the room. He didn’t know if that was on purpose, or if Chuck just really needed to piss at the most inopportune moment. He didn’t like being in social situations like the one he was currently in, he never knew what to _say._

“Oh, um, cool. Well… this was fun, yeah?” _Goddammit Dean._ Cas just smiled at him, his startlingly blue eyes crinkling up at the corners, and Dean hoped against hope the other boy couldn’t hear his heart skipping a beat.

“Yeah, I had a really good time with you guys. I hope we can do it again sometime.” Dean was nodding before he even realised what he was doing. Eager much?

“Yes! Ah, yeah that sounds good. Always studying to be done, right?” For fuck sake, where was a hole he could crawl into?

Cas just laughed, which was ridiculously hypnotic. He nodded, and turned to go but stopped when he got to the door. He looked at the floor, and Dean could _swear_ he was blushing, god he hoped so.

“Uh, could I friend you on Facebook, Dean? We could – we could talk and I can send you terribly funny cat pictures.” Cas looked up then, hope and fear radiating from his eyes. Was he… why was he worried? The worst Dean could say was no, really. There was no way Cas would think he’d take it in a _different_ way, was there? Maybe he was worried that it would be seen as something else, considering the content of their conversation earlier.

A quiet cough reeled him in from his ocean of insecure thoughts, and he realised he hadn’t answered. Wow, that must have sent Cas’ self-confidence spiralling downwards.

“Sure! Sorry, I kinda zone out sometimes, Chucks always moaning about it.” Dean smiled, looking down at his scruffy socks, and he was suddenly very _aware_ of himself. From his messy hair, untucked tee shirt and ratty comfy jeans, right down to his woolly socks. He felt like in that moment, him and Cas, they were on the edge of _something,_ but he couldn’t fathom what it could possibly be. Cas wasn’t interested, judging by how he talked about that Charlie chick, he clearly had a girlfriend. Dean couldn’t help his heart beating harder in his chest as Cas looked at him, or his stomach going all damn fluttery when he laughed. 

“That’s ok, Dean. Everyone’s got something that’s weird about them. My brother is addicted to sugar and porn. It’s really a horrible mixture.” Dean’s eyes were wide by the time Cas chuckled at the end, and his heart was pounding.

“What about you?” Cas cocked his head to the side, and Dean _really_ wished he’d stop that.

“What about me?” He questioned, narrowing his eyes, but smiling his stupidly cheeky smile. Dean gulped, throwing caution to the wind, and crossing everything in the hope that Cas wouldn’t punch him in the face.

“What’s weird about you?” Dean asked quietly, stepping slightly closer, not daring to take his eyes from Cas’ face. His heart was hammering, sweat was running down his back and he was almost unbearably warm. The weird thing was, he wouldn’t change any of it. He knew with a _certainty_ that he hadn’t previously known, that even though he was scared almost out of his mind, he was _happy_ in Cas’ presence.

Even though Cas wasn’t into him, he could be _content_ being his friend.

“Well, get to know me better, and you might find out.” With a cheeky wink, that seriously made Deans whole body almost self-combust, Cas disappeared out the door. Dean had no idea what had just happened, but he knew he’d taken a risk that he wouldn’t have even contemplated a few weeks ago. Either he was finally getting more confident about his particular singular gender attraction, or he was getting stupidly _stupidly_ lax.

“Are you guys done yet?” Chuck appeared from the ‘bathroom’ or where ever he’d been, smiling evilly. He had never known Chuck to be so devious, and he was actually quite worried. “Good, I’m gonna invite him over again, that all good?” Dean just nodded, because whatever happened, it was better to go _with_ Chucks plans, than against.

“Yeah, uh good idea.” Dean was still reeling from whatever the hell had just transpired, his teenage brain was _not_ ready for such intense feelings.

“You guys didn’t suck face on my doorstep, did you?”

“Fuck off, Chuck.”

* * *

 

Dean fully expected to have some major epiphany when he walked into school on Monday. Some major breakthrough that would make him realise he didn’t need to worry about the jocks and what everyone would think if he just  _came out._

The doors slammed shut, students shrugged past him and everything stayed the same. Big moments of internal realisation didn’t happen like that in real life. It took time, peace and quiet to come to a certified conclusion, and more often than not, with a whole bucket load of anxiety and stress. He certainly knew all about _that._  

By the time lunch rolled around, Dean was back to feeling hollow and invisible, even though two girls commented how they had missed him at the party on Saturday. He didn’t even know their names.

He smiled when Chuck plonked down opposite him.

“Dude, they can’t honestly expect us to believe this crap is _food,_ can they?” They had had many conversations revolving around the mediocre meal they were served daily. He was almost tempted to wake up early to make his own lunch.

“I dunno, but we keep eating it, so we can only blame ourselves for that.” Chuck sat back, staring at Dean. He could feel his best friends gaze trying to penetrate him, in a totally creepy way.

“Who pissed in your cereal?” Dean snorted, because Chuck always knew when he was down. It didn’t take a mind reader to tell that he was in a shitty mood. Looking over Chucks shoulder as the doors opened and closed loudly, Dean’s heart thumped hard when he spotted Cas laughing with a bunch of people. A red haired girl slung her arm around his shoulders, and he couldn’t help feel jealous of her ability to show affection without any fear. When she leaned down and kissed Cas on the cheek, Dean looked away, the sick bubbling feeling in his stomach too much to bear.

He’d talked to the guy _once,_ and he was getting jealous over random girls kissing him. Fuck, he was beyond pathetic. Chuck nudged him with his foot under the table, trying to gain his attention.

“Dude, I thought you’d in a better mood today, especially after yesterday. You guys seemed to get on great.” Dean just looked back at his food, shaking his head. His good mood withered up and died once he saw Cas with his other friends and his… _girlfriend._ Why would he want anything to do with a sullen, reserved dark horse like Dean, and an intense, angel porn loving mess like Chuck?

Chuck narrowed his eyes, looking around behind him. His gaze zeroed in on Cas, who had taken a seat with his friends not far from them. Dean watched his friend’s eyes as they widened when Cas slung his arm casually around the girl, who could only be Charlie, and threw his head back laughing. Dean was happy that Cas was so happy, but it made his whole body ache in response.

“We need to do something.” Dean whipped his head around, eyes firmly set on Chuck. What the hell did he mean? Go over there and rip the girl from his arms? “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but remember, I’m the dramatic one, ok? No, I mean we need to take your mind off him.”

There was no way Chucks plan wouldn’t have some horrible effect on Dean, they all seemed to end up with him either horribly embarrassed or damaged mentally or physically. Sometimes, all three.

Chuck frowned, staring off into space, putting together his nefarious plan. He was going to die, he just knew it. He could feel it in his _bones._ He actually _flinched_ when Chuck clicked his fingers, eyes wide with excitement.

“One of my readers suggested this club that’s just opened up in the city. I wana check it out. You still have your fake ID? They said we need to be at least eighteen to get in.” Chuck was getting more and more worked up, putting his plan together in his mind. Dean knew he should be scared, there was only one club Chucks readers would suggest to him.

“It’s a gay club, isn’t it?” Dean leaned forward and whispered, worried beyond belief someone would walk past and catch their conversation.

“Oh, Dean. You’re gonna have a _blast.”_

* * *

 

Getting to the club was the easy part.

Dean told his parents he was spending the night at Chucks, which in essence was true. He would be going _back_ to Chucks after going to the club. Chuck had his own car, thank Christ, because he had no excuse to ask to borrow the Impala for the night when his mum could just drop him off.

He waved his mother off, promising to text her in the morning when he wanted to be picked up. Chuck met him at the door and raised his eyebrows in question to Deans fairly casual attire, sweat pants and a hoody, not at all what you’d wear to a club.

“Dude, I couldn’t exactly wear my best clothes to your house, could I? My mom would get like, ten kinds of suspicious.” Dean nudged his way inside, heading straight for Chuck’s bedroom.

“Wow, I’m hurt, Dean. Do I not deserve your best clothes?” Dean just gave him a look before shutting the door on his face. He ripped open his bag, while simultaneously taking off his hoody. He was already wearing the green Henley he liked, but slung on a dark jacket over the top. Sliding out of his sweat pants, he pulled on a pair of his best, skin tight black jeans.

Straightening up, Dean looked himself over Chuck’s mirror. He looked moody, dangerous and just a little bit sexy. He didn’t lie to himself, he knew he was hot, in a right light kind of way. He shrugged on his leather jacket, only because it sort of completed the look. Chuck opened the door just as he was spraying on some of Chuck’s expensive cologne.

“You do realise you look like your gonna sex someone up, then murder them, right?” Chuck always did have a way with words.

“Yeah, thanks man, your complete confidence overwhelms me.” Dean rolled his eyes, making a shooing motion at Chuck. He was ready, thank god, or they would be even later than they had planned. Chucks dad was out on duty, so they could be home any time before two in the morning.

The only perk of having divorced parents.

“Whatever, let’s go. We won’t be able to drown your sorrows in the good stuff, but at least we can get you some body to keep you warm, yeah?” Chuck grinned, and Dean just shook his head.  

By the time they made it to the club, there was a line stretching around the block.

“Damnit, we’re never gonna get in.” Dean was ready to throw in the towel right then. They’d had to drive over an hour to get there, and it didn’t even look like they were going to get in. _Fuck,_ life sucked balls.

“I’ve got a plan, don’t worry.” Dean had no doubt his friend had a plan, but that didn’t mean it would work. He dragged Dean with him up to the front of the line, and pushed him front and centre. Dean blushed, feeling the glares of the people in the front of the line as they observed two teenagers talk to the bouncer.

“Um, hi there.” The bouncer just raised an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes. Yikes, they were so done. “Uh, -” before Dean could ramble his way into an early grave, the bouncer held up his hand and pressed his earpiece. He nodded, and turned back to Dean, who was staring at him with an open mouth.

“I need to see your ID’s.” Dean and Chuck practically threw their cards at the bouncer, who looked at them like they would give him the clap. Finally, he gave them back, unclicking the tiny rope separating the lucky few who were in the bar, from those who just had to wait. “Have a good night, boys.”

They hurried inside, not wanting to test their luck. Dean had no idea what had just happened, but he wasn’t going to question it. Looking around, Dean realised he had imagined many, _many_ things, but the inside of the club, _Halo,_ wasn’t even on his radar.

There was a bar in the corner, without any stools, but the majority of the space was _full_ of bodies. Mostly guys in way too little, mostly see through clothing, and when Dean saw two guys pretty much going at it on the dance floor, he knew he and Chuck were way out of their depth.

“Dude, we should not be here.” Chuck was looking around, shock evident on his face. He turned to Dean, nodding, before they both turned to make their way back to the front doors. They were almost there; Dean could feel the cool breeze as the bouncer let some _lucky_ patron inside, when Dean felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Now now, boys. You just got here. At least have a drink with me?” Dean turned slowly towards the person pinning him down, and he chanced a look a Chuck. His friend was trembling, only notable to Dean, who knew what a scared Chuck looked like.

Right, he had to take control of this clusterfuck of a bad idea. Turning on the Winchester charm, he turned fully around and slapped on a smirk.

“Depends on what you’re offering,” He looked the older man up and down slowly, as if assessing his options. He was _actually_ shitting a giant brick, “ _sir.”_ He could sound like an epic douche sometimes; Sam would always laugh when he put it on. It seemed to have the desired effect though. The man drew back a step, letting go of Dean.

“Only the best for my patrons.” He smirked at them before waving his arm over towards the bar. Huh, ok, so the guy owned the place, no big deal. Dean and a slightly sick looking Chuck followed the blonde, suave Englishman and he situated them at a table, before disappearing to get them some drinks. Chuck waited until he had left, and almost launched himself over the table to whisper urgently to Dean.

“Dude, we need to leave, like, _now._ This is _not_ how I saw this going.” Dean just chuckled, playing with a napkin.

“How the hell _did_ you see this going, dude? This is a _gay bar,_ people see what they like and they _buy them drinks.”_ Dean ripped the napkin apart, nerves getting the better of his hands. This was such a bad idea on so many levels. Worse than when they had broken into the old mental institute and Chuck’s dad had caught them.

“I’m sorry, Dean. We – we need to go, before that guy gets any ideas.” Chuck looked like he was going to bring his dinner to the party, and Dean didn’t need that on top of everything else.

“Dude, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll talk to him and that’s it.” Dean didn’t even know why they were hanging around; they could have just made a run for it as soon as he’d left.

But now it was too damn late because he was walking back to the table with three drinks.

_Fucking fuck._

“No alcohol for you boys, but I hope you don’t mind if I indulge?” his smarmy accent was grating on Deans already frayed nerves, and it took everything in him to plaster on his fake smile.

“All good, man. Uh, I’m Dean, by the way. This here’s Chuck.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ignore the mess of a napkin sitting in front of him.

“Nice to meet you both. I’m Balthazar, owner and operator of Halo.” Dean just nodded, looking around at the sea of people. Oh fucking shit, they hadn’t even thought – what if someone they knew was at the club??

 _Why the hell would they be here, dick brain? It’s a_ gay bar.

Well, yeah, but still.

“So what brings you boys to my fine establishment?” Balthazar said, and Dean was sure he’d never heard such a smarmy fucking name in his life, when the strings of a familiar song started up. Everyone in the club cheered, but Balthazar seemed to explode, a look of such disgust slamming across his face, that both boys sat back. “I _hate_ this fucking song! I told them to take it off the fucking playlist!” He flew up off his chair and stalked off towards the DJ, who looked totally unaware of the shit storm he had just caused.

“I like Celine Dion.” Chuck said quietly, and Dean couldn’t help laughing. They drank their cokes, not wanting to waste a free drink and plotted their escape. Before Dean could come up with any kind of escape route, a waiter strolled up and took their glasses.

“Hey, you kids want another?” The golden haired waiter asked, and Dean couldn’t help notice the red vine hanging from his mouth. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but he couldn’t place it. Before he could figure it out, the waiters eyes widened and he tilted his head in an oddly familiar gesture. “Wait the fuck up, I know you.”

Dean almost fell off his chair. He _remembered,_ this guy was older, but he’d been at school with them, a few years back. He was – shit, there was a connection there that Dean was forgetting, it was on the tip of his tongue –

“Yeah, your Dean Winchester. You go to school with my brother, Cas.”

It felt to Dean like all of the blood in his body drained out of his feet and disappeared through the cracks in the floor. Every part of him suddenly went cold, like plunging into a freezing pool in the middle of winter, but _worse._

So much worse.

He turned to Chuck, and like the life saver he was, he grabbed Dean by the jacket sleeve and hauled him out of his seat. He managed to steer them towards the door, not once letting Dean fall to the floor in the puddle of building mortification and fear that was threatening to overwhelm him.

 _Cas’ brother knows they were at a_ gay bar.

It would be all over school by Monday.

He was so dead.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the Kudos and Comments :) 
> 
> They make me so happy. 
> 
> Here's the next one, hope you like it, because this fic is going nothing like i planned it haha. But that's just the way it happens sometimes i guess. 
> 
> Remember to comment!

When Monday came around, Dean begged his mother to let him stay home from school. He couldn’t face the shitstorm that was no doubt brewing. Gabriel would have told Cas about seeing them at the bar, and even if Cas didn’t tell anyone, Gabriel would know people from school. Dean remembered him being pretty popular with his classmates, being the jokester of the class. He had no reason not to tell someone else that he’d seen the dark and mysterious Dean Winchester out on the town.

Dean shuddered and pulled the blankets further over his head, hiding in his little warm cocoon of denial. He didn’t need to ever get out of bed again. He just had to accept it.

_This is my life now._

His phone buzzed on his desk, and Dean was loath to leave the warm confines of his bed, but it could be Chuck telling him he’d have to move Mexico and take a new identity. Maybe he’d have to revaluate his reasons for not wanting people to find out.

Maybe… maybe he was kidding himself. He’d been so obsessed with thinking he didn’t want anyone to find out because he didn’t want the _attention?_ Who was he kidding? He didn’t want people finding out because he was _scared._

People would react _differently,_ people would treat him _differently._ He didn’t have the first clue how to handle it, and that terrified him. People at school would whisper and spread rumours about him, worse than the ones that followed him around now.

His heart rate picked up and Dean was forced to bring his knees to his chest just to control his breathing. He’d had panic attacks before, and he knew the key to getting threw them was distraction. Throwing the covers from his bed, his body jerked with the cold, but he welcomed the distraction from his rising sense of panic. Running his thumb over the phone, Dean brought up display on his phone. The message was from Chuck, no surprises there. He didn’t like using his phone at school, just in case someone asked for his number.

He really didn’t like saying no to those poor confused fools.

Shaking his head, Dean walked back to his bed and opened the text.

 

**Chuck: Dude, you’re not here**

**so I’m guessing your freaking**

**out. Calm down. No one’s talking**

**about you. It’s all good. Cas’ bro**

**must have kept his mouth shut.**

Dean fell back on his bed, breath rushing out all at once in a relieved huff. He wasn’t out of the woods, but it was a start. He decided he’d been enough of a sad sack and got dressed. Everyone was either at work or school, so he made himself some cereal and turned on his computer. The last thing he felt like doing was rubbing one out, so he cruised around Facebook for a while, and looked through some promising Fanfiction. He clicked open another tab and shuddered when he saw Chuck had sent him another chapter to read through. Honestly, it wasn’t like his input was that important, but Chuck seemed to think it was.

He clicked back over to Facebook and saw that he had a new friend request. Cas had mentioned something about being friends on Facebook, but it hadn’t actually registered until that moment.

_Oh god, what if he wants to ask about what his brother saw_

He clicked on the little symbol, his heart beating in his ears. Hell, he could almost see his heart beating in his damn _eyes._

No message, just a friend request, simple, not complicated at _all._ Yeah fucking right. If he clicked that little confirm button, he was actively letting Cas into his life. It was a step that was so normal for people his age, and yet, it was monumental for him.

When he swallowed his fear, and a little bit of vomit, and hit confirm, he felt like there should have been balloons, maybe some kind of announcement. But no, it just went back to his feed, and everything was strangely, eerily _normal._

Dean was about halfway through the shockingly tame chapter when a ding from the other tab alerted him to a new message. Chuck could text him, so it wouldn’t have been him. With the mouse hovering over the tab, Dean hesitated. It could be Cas, and he didn’t know if he was ready for that. His heart was hammering and he was all kinds of sweaty, because even though he desperately wanted to talk to the other guy, he was still scared out of his mind. Anything could happen, but that was the point wasn’t it? If he opened himself up to Cas, there was always the chance that he would get hurt but then there was _also_ every chance he could be happy too.

_Fuck it._

Clicking the blinking tab, Dean saw that he did indeed have a message from Cas, which was weird because school was still in. Heart in his throat, he opened up the message window.

**Cas: Hello Dean. Thank you for accepting my friend request.**

Dean shook his head, Cas was a little weird, but that just made him more intriguing.

**Dean: That’s alright dude. Thanks for asking.**

Oh god, he was so awkward. Why did Cas even want to be his friend.

**Cas: I noticed you weren’t at school today. Why was that? If you don’t mind me asking.**

Dean felt a little flutter in his chest at the fact that Cas had noticed he wasn’t at school but he shook the thought off. Just because he might have noticed Dean was absent, didn’t necessarily mean he actually cared. They had only hung out once for fuck sake, what the hell was wrong with him?

**Dean: nah it’s all good man, uh, I didn’t feel well.**

**Cas: really?**

Dean frowned, _shit balls_ , he didn’t believe him. Gabriel must have told him, _goddamnit._

**Cas: Gabriel told me what happened on the weekend, Dean.**

FUCK

Why did mouths suddenly go dry? All the fluid in his body descended to his stomach, where it felt like he was going to throw up and get sucked into a black hole all at once.

**Cas: I just want you to know, that Gabriel won’t be causing you any trouble. I have enough photographic blackmail material that he wouldn’t dare.**

Dean just stared at the screen. He couldn’t believe it. Why on earth would Cas do that for him?

**Dean: I don’t know what to say man. Um, did he give you details?**

**Dean: But thanks, thank you so much.**

**Cas: Your welcome Dean. He did tell me… he was quite descriptive, actually. Apparently his boss was quite taken with Chuck.**

Dean couldn’t help the laugh that exploded out of him, because that shit was hilarious. He couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s reaction to _that_ little piece of information. They had gone to the club to try and get _Dean_ some action; instead Chuck was the bear bait.

**Dean: Omg Cas, you just seriously made my day.**

He sent the message before he even thought about how Cas might take it, and he held his breath for the other guys reply.

**Cas: My pleasure Dean. I don’t want you to worry about what happened. But I wouldn’t go back to that bar, Balthazar was apparently _very_ interested. **

**Dean: Don’t worry; we’re not going back any time soon. I think I’ve had my fill of bars for a while.**

**Cas: That’s good Dean.**

**Cas: So… I know we haven’t known each other long, Dean, but I just want you to know, that if you ever need to talk then I am more than happy to listen. I know you have Chuck, but sometimes it’s good to get another, outside point of view as well.**

Dean was speechless. That little speech came way out of left field. It was more than he could have possibly hoped for, but he was still wary. Of course he would talk to Cas, but he had to ease into it, test the waters.

**Dean: I’m not good with words, Cas. But thanks, that actually means a whole lot.**

Fuck going slow, his damn teenage hormones were surging through him, telling him to see Cas _immediately._

**Dean: Um, do you wana come over after school?**

Oh sweet baby Jesus, he knew he had just made a terrible mistake. He _never_ did this kind of thing, what the hell possessed him to act so carelessly?

_Your dick._

Well that was helpful, as always.

**Cas: I would love to, Dean. Are you allowed to today?**

Of course he would be allowed. His parents wouldn’t be home until later anyway, and when he told them he was hanging out with someone that _wasn’t_ Chuck, well, they would probably throw him a party.

**Dean: Yeah man, all good. Um, should I invite Chuck?**

It was a defensive manoeuvre, and he actually hoped that Cas saw it for what it was. Using Chuck as a buffer was a weak move, but he didn’t know if he was ready to be alone with Cas, like, _by himself._

**Cas: I believe he his busy this afternoon, Dean.**

**Cas: Is that alright, Dean?**

Dean jumped when his phone went off, and he opened the message from Chuck with narrowed eyes.

 

**Chuck: Dude, I’m giving you an**

**opening. TAKE IT. He wants**

**to hang out ALONE.**

**Dean: I don’t know what**

**to do man.**

**Chuck: Just trust dude. Just trust.**

Dean was more nervous than he’d ever been in his life, worse than going to that damn club. He felt like what he did in the next few minutes would have a huge impact on his life.

 _Or_ he could just be hyping it up in his head and being a fairly typical dramatic teenager, _whatever._

**Dean: Yeah man, I’ll give you my address. H** **ead on over after school**

**Cas: I look forward to it, Dean.**

Holy fucking shit. What the hell had he just done?

* * *

Dean was pacing the living room by the time Sam arrived home, and the evil smile on his face was anything but comforting.

“Dude, seriously, not today.” Dean pointed at Sam, although threatening finger aside, he didn’t feel every aggressive. He was nervous, tense and had spent an embarrassingly long time figuring out what to wear. He then decided it didn’t even matter because Cas had a girlfriend and was straight, so fuck everything.

Sam just held up his hands while raiding the fridge. “I am not saying anything, Dean. I’ll be out of your hear in a minute, I’m heading over to Andy’s place anyway.” Sam shoved an enormous amount of half a sandwich in his moose mouth, and grinned. “Yeah, I don’t wana hear you two boning.” He managed to avoid the shoe Dean threw at his head, but only just. He left, cackling like the little shit that he was.

It really had done _nothing_ to sooth Deans nerves.

The knock at the door almost made him crap his pants, and he’d already sweated through two tee-shirts. He was a hot mess, and not in the good way. His hands were shaking when he reached for the door handle, and he willed them to stay damn well still, before opening the door.

Cas stood on the threshold of his house, cool as a cucumber and completely oblivious to Deans internal panic attack. He could tell he was flushed and sweaty, he must have looked _actually_ sick, judging by the look on Cas’ face.

“Are you alright, Dean?” He gulped and forced his twitching face into what he hoped resembled a carefree smile.

“Yeah, Cas, I’m good. Come on in.”

They ended up settled in Dean’s room, and he was having a strange reaction to seeing Cas sprawled out on his bed. He had a very strong urge to curl up behind the other boy and spoon the absolute shit out of him. He almost jumped out of his desk chair when Cas started talking.

“So Dean, what do you like doing?” Dean just gawked at him, and his brain ground to a halt. What the hell did he like doing?

“Uh, well I like drawing.” Cas nodded, and that was kind of a given. He’d already seen his sketch book. “Um, I like music as well.” Wow, that didn’t sound dumb at _all._ Who didn’t like music? Cas smiled, and tilted his head to the side. He really had to stop that, it was giving Deans poor heart palpitations.

“What kind of music do you enjoy? I’m more of a Mumford and sons guy myself, and I _love_ maroon 5.” Dean blinked and stared at Cas, and wondered if he would judge him if he told him about _his_ music preference. There were the ones like ACDC and Metallica that he shared with others, but he had some… guilty pleasure music that he no one knew about, well accept Sam because of that one time he walked in when Dean was rocking out.

Could he trust Cas?

“Uh, I like Metallica and ACDC. You know, the great legends.” Cas just nodded, accepting his answer without hesitation. Of course he would though; there wasn’t any reason for Dean to lie to him, as far as he knew. Dean desperately wanted Cas to know though, at the very least to see his reaction. Who knew, maybe he was a secret fan too. “Uh, I um, I also have like, a couple of guilty pleasure likes as well.” Dean blushed when Cas sat up and grinned at him, and Dean loved the little thrill it gave him.

“Now _that’s_ more like it, getting into the juicy stuff.” Cas shifted and brought his knees up to his chin, as if waiting to hear the biggest secret of the year.

“Uh, well, I kinda have a thing for…” Dean blushed harder and looked away from Cas, the way he was sitting left very little to the imagination and Dean could _not_ be caught staring.  “Um, Taylor Swift?” Dean braced himself for what was surely going to be horrifically traumatising laughter and quickly wondered if his parents would consider home schooling him.

It caught him totally off guard when Cas kicked his legs out and clapped his hands.

“Oh my god, that’s awesome. What’s your favourite song? I personally _love_ bad blood, that video was badass.” Cas was looking at him expectantly, like obviously he had to answer.

“Ah, um, well I really like Everything Has Changed… I like how her and Ed Sheeren go together. The video, well, it’s pretty damn adorable, you know?” Dean was pretty sick of blushing at that point, but Cas didn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cute. Do you know what it’s about?” Cas asked, but Dean was sure he already knew.

“Yeah, it’s about getting to know a new lover better, hanging out, getting to know each other.” Dean looked away, unwilling to meet Cas’ pondering gaze. He cursed himself for his choice, at how similar it was to what he wanted to happen with Cas.

“It’s a really nice song, I have to agree.” Cas smiled and looked so damn sincere that Dean found himself trusting his new friend even more than he thought possible. It was like he’d known him forever, but he got to get to know him all over again.

“I, um, I haven’t told anyone that before.” Dean ducked his head, suddenly really damn shy. It was a risk he was taking that he wasn’t used to, and while it was beyond thrilling, it was also terrifying. The fear of Cas going back and spilling all of his best kept secrets to all of his friends was still there, but he was beginning to hope, to _believe,_ that Cas would never do something so awful.

“I’m very happy that you could trust me enough to tell me, Dean. I meant what I said before, if you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here to listen.” Cas leaned forward and met Deans wide eyed gaze. “I would never tell anyone anything you didn’t want me to, Dean.” Dean felt something within him bubble up and over the high wall of defence he had built over the years, washing away his fear in the form of the dark haired, blue eyed angel sitting on his bed.

“Thank you, Cas.” Dean whispered, a small smile spreading across his face. But the conversation had got way too heavy, way too quickly. Dean needed to lighten the situation.

“So, have you read any more of Chucks Fanfiction?” He hoped that was an appropriate diversion topic, because nothing was funnier than Chucks writing. Cas’ face lit up, his blue eyes bright with _something._

“Chuck is a very talented writer. He’s been sending me regular updates.” Cas grimaced, and smirked. “They are very… _graphic,_ yes, that’s the word.” Dean laughed, yup, that was the word.

“Yeah, sorry, he insists on them being as realistic as possible. I had to do a whole lot of research to get the sex scenes accurate enough for him.” Dean froze, it was one thing to admit he liked a bit of TayTay, but a _whole_ other ball game to let slip that he _researched gay sex scenes for Chuck._

_Fuck Fucking Fuckity Fuck_

“Well, those are the best stories, aren’t they? The ones everyone can relate to.” Cas smiled broadly. “But his recent exploration into angels is very intriguing.”

Dean relaxed, quietly blowing out a breath in relief that Cas had apparently ignored his comment.

“Yeah, but they still have to be realistic.” What the _actual fuck_ was wrong with him? He’d just avoided a near miss and yet he had opened his mouth _again?_ Did he _want_ Cas to find out?

Oh, well, yeah, he did.

Cas just smiled at him, but Dean thought he saw something else there too, some emotion he couldn’t quite describe, but it looked a bit like hope. He was probably just projecting, seeing his own emotions or what he wanted reflected in Cas.

“Do you read any Fanfiction, Dean?” He would have breathed a sigh of relief, if it wouldn’t have been so obvious. He just nodded, pretending to play with his phone while actually trying to kick his dip shit of a brain back into gear. He needed to calm the fuck down, if he wanted the afternoon to not be a complete disaster.

“Yeah, I actually do, which is kinda embarrassing.” Dean blushed when Cas laughed, but it was such a luscious, full sound that Dean found himself wanting to hear it forever.

“What kind do you like? Don’t worry, I wont judge you.” Cas said it with a smirk, his eyes crinkled at the edges. Dean saw something in him then that resounded like a damn tuning fork vibrating to the perfect frequency. It was all he ever wanted, and apparently, everything he was destined to live without. The ache in his chest was hard to ignore, but he pushed it aside, he would deal with it later, when he was alone to drown in his misery.

“Um, im kinda into Teen Wolf Fanfiction at the moment.” Dean grimaced when he realised how that might have sounded, but stuck with it. Yeah, most of the stuff he liked was when they matched up the snarky human to the dark, moody werewolf, but Cas wouldn’t figure that out and he _certainly_ wasn’t going to tell him.

Cas’ eyes lit up, though, and he sat forward almost eagerly.

“Really? Thank _god,_ I thought I was the only one.” Dean’s mouth spread in a shocked smile, and he quickly licked his dry lips. Cas’ eyes flicked to his mouth for a moment, before moving back up to Deans eyes. He didn’t know why, but the thought that Cas liked his lips quickly got him chubbing.

_Shit balls._

“Really, you like it too? Who’s your favourite character? Mines Derek, because damn that guy can smoulder.”

_What the fucking fuck._

Dean’s eyes widened as he absorbed what had just flown out of his mouth, did he actually just say that? Cas was just blinking at him, clearly as shocked as Dean was at what had just been said. No straight guy in their right _minds_ commented on another guys apparent smoulder ability. Maybe he should book his tickets to Mexico now. Sam could visit on holidays. He always said he wanted to go somewhere exotic.

“Dean…” Oh and here it came. The questions, the disbelief, the ‘oh, ah, actually my parents are expecting me home so…’

He turned around, head in his hands on his desk. He’d fucked everything up, with one simple sentence. Well, no, the other barely concealed hints probably didn’t help, but still. There was no going back. Cas was smart, he’d put everything together. His reluctance to go out to parties with others of his age, no girlfriend or hook ups despite the rumours, and now to top it all off, spouting on about some werewolf?

He should just show him the door, but _instead,_ he was just barely holding it together, crumpled on his desk. He jerked back when he felt a tentative touch on his shoulder, the warmth of Cas’ hand a burning reminder on his skin.

“It’s alright, Dean.” Cas sounded so damn gentle, Dean almost believed him. No, it wasn’t alright, but he could pretend it was until Cas was gone. “You don’t have to pretend with me. It’s ok.” What the hell did he know? Pretending was all he goddamn had.

“Why do you want to be my friend, Cas?” He had to know, had to know why Cas, beautiful, radiant, _too good for Dean,_ Cas, wanted to be _Dean Winchesters_ friend. Cas just looked at him with his too blue eyes, and a sad, sad smile.

“Why wouldn’t I, Dean?” He really wished Cas would stop with the staring, but he just couldn’t seem to get enough of it. “Yes, your dark and mysterious, but your also _good,_ Dean. You’re passionate and you care about your family.” Cas shrugged, a small smile replacing his sad one. “What’s not to like?”

Oh god Cas, don’t say crap like that.

Dean really didn’t know what to say, so he just smiled and shook his head. This kind of stuff was totally out of his league.

“You are something else Cas, you really are.” Cas just smiled, walked back to the bed and flopped down.

“Oh, Dean, we’re just getting started.”

They ended up talking until his parents got home, but Cas declined staying for dinner. He looked sheepish as hell meeting Dean’s parents, and gave Dean a strange look when they practically invited him over again. He cringed inside at the awkwardness; clearly his parents were over joyed at his new friend outreach programme, and were happy to give it their full endorsement.

Saying goodbye to Cas at the door was awkward as all hell, but it had to be done. He wasn’t just going to send him on his way.

Cas shouldered his bag and shuffled on the doorstep, clearly wanting to say something. Dean didn’t want to rush him, hell; he wanted him to stay for as long as possible.

“So, me and some friends of mine are going to a movie on Friday, do you – do you and Chuck want to come?” Cas actually sounded _nervous,_ and it was the first time Dean had heard the slight tremor in his voice. He must have really wanted them to be friends. He had no need, though. As if Dean was going to say no.

“Uh, yeah, of course. Sounds cool. Text me the time and we’ll be there.” Dean smiled, pretty damn happy with himself at having a normal human conversation with someone that wasn’t family or Chuck. Something like relief crossed Cas’ face, and he smiled.

“I look forward to it, Dean. I have to be going, my parents will be waiting.” Cas turned around, and Dean felt his heart thump thickly within his chest. Cas turned back, though, his eyes shy and downcast. “I’ll see you at school?” Dean just grinned, hell yeah he’d see him at school.

“Yeah, Cas. See you at school.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, please continue, because i love them!
> 
> Enjoy!

True to his word, Cas’ annoying shit of a brother hadn’t said anything to anyone about where he had seen Chuck and Dean that night. School was back to its boring, non-threatening self, at least in Dean’s mind. He had never really been worried about going to school, yeah; he hated it as much as any other self-respecting teenager, but it gave him a distraction. It allowed his mind to wander away from the quagmire of sorrow that was his non-existent love life and focus on important things, like his art, Chucks ridiculous plot devises and whatever the hell was attempting to disguise itself as food on the cafeteria tray in front of him.

“So what movie are we seeing?” Chuck snapped Dean from his stupor, which he was eternally grateful for. Although, he was pointedly trying _not_ to think about the movie they were seeing in a few hours. All it did was make his heart go crazy and a cold sweat to form _everywhere._

“Uh, the new Avengers movie, I think.” Dean cast his eyes quickly around the lunch room to see if Cas and his friends were nearby. Thankfully, they were laughing and messing around all the way over on the other side, so Dean felt it was safe enough to talk. “Why the hell did I agree, Chuck? This is gonna be a nightmare.” He wasn’t just talking about having to see Cas and his girlfriend neck in the theatre either, although that in itself was going to be traumatising enough. No, he just didn’t do that well in social situations. He hadn’t been around enough large groups to feel totally comfortable, and just the thought made him slightly sick.

“Dude, it’s gonna be fine, and we’ve wanted to see that movie for ages too.” Chuck smiled at him, and Dean couldn’t help but feel a little calmer in his friend’s presence. He just had a way about him.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean played with whatever was on his plate; he was too freaked out to even bother trying to figure it out. “I’m just being stupid.” Chuck rolled his eyes, clearly fed up with Deans shit.

“Stop being so damn morose. Yeah, he’s got a girlfriend, I get it, ok? But that doesn’t stop you being his friend.” Chuck poked him with his plastic fork. “So buck up and suck it up.” Dean snorted, Chuck was trying to make him laugh, and dick jokes always got him.

“Whatever, man, just eat your chicken.”

“Dude, I thought it was a hotdog.”

“Fuck.”

Dean was shuffling outside the movie theatre, waiting for everyone else to arrive. He was stupidly early, mainly because he couldn’t just wait around the house any longer than he had to, which was annoying Sam and his mom. He was just so damn antsy, and he knew he had no right to be, but it was the whole group thing that got him twisted in knots.

He checked his phone for the umpteenth time, already having asked Chuck when he was gonna arrive, and received a fairly grumpy text back of ‘be there soon’ in reply. It was the first time he’d done anything like this, but he was determined; fear aside, to have a good time. He just had to ignore the hitch in his heart beat when Cas walked around the corner, looking absolutely fucking delectable in tight jeans and a dark jacket. Dean could almost feel his mouth watering, and he could _definitely_ feel himself chubbing at the sight. Luckily he hadn’t worn his tightest jeans, or it would have been a painful night.

“Hey, Cas.” He winced when his voice broke on Cas’ name, but the other guy mustn’t’ve noticed, he just smiled at Dean, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Hello, Dean. I’m glad you could make it.” Dean had to be imagining the blush on Cas’ cheeks, or the way he was biting his lip –

“Hey guys!” A red headed blur waltzed up to them, before wrapping her arms around Cas and slapping a kiss on his cheek. Dean froze, his jaw clenching as a wave of jealousy and pain washed over him. He never knew he would be able to feel his heart physically ache until he’d met Cas, and now that was all it seemed to be doing. He slipped away, so the two _lovebirds_ could greet each other, and stood in line to get his ticket.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he was hesitant to turn around and face them, just in case it was –

“Hey, so I’m Charlie, nice to meet you.” The girl of his nightmares smiled disarmingly at him, and Dean’s shoulders sagged. He couldn’t hate this girl, who looked so nice, and carefree. It wasn’t her fault that Cas preferred chicks to dicks, and he couldn’t believe he had just thought something like that, and that it had _rhymed._ Chuck would be so proud.

“Uh, hi. I’m Dean.” He tried to smile, but it probably just came out looking like he was trying to hold on for the bathroom.

“Well, Cas and Ash are getting the food, so you, me, Becky and Jo are getting the tickets. That sound good?” Dean nodded, yeah that sounded fine. He’d just have to wait for the quiet dark of the theatre before he had his internal meltdown.

By the time they got their tickets, Cas and Ash had only moved halfway up the line. They waved them off towards the theatre, telling them to sit in the middle.

When they got inside, thank Christ, the seats were almost empty. Charlie led them up and in, until they were seated in the middle of the row of seats, right in the middle of the theatre. The giant screen loomed before them and for a moment Dean was distracted by how _huge_ it was, before a sudden realisation washed over him. Charlie and her friends were seated on his right, with Becky at the end. Chuck had been eyeing her at school so he _knew_ the traitor would sit with her rather than him.

He sighed quietly, he was a big boy, and he could get through the movie without Chuck holding his hand. He wouldn’t begrudge his friend a shot at happiness with Becky just because he was imagining his own misery. He looked past Charlie at Becky, who was talking with Jo, and realised with mounting panic that there was a seat spare in between Jo and Charlie.

_Of course._

Cas would want to sit with his girlfriend, not next to some dude he had just met. The thought of them sucking face next to him had his stomach roiling, and he decided very quickly that if they started any of _that,_ he would move away to give them their privacy. It was what any normal person would do, right?

He didn’t have much longer to stew in his jealous, uncomfortable juices before Cas and Ash appeared at the door. Cas was holding the biggest bucket of popcorn he had ever seen, and he was impressed Cas had such a stomach on him. It occurred to him, somewhat belatedly, that he should have given them some money towards the food. When he mentioned it to Charlie, she gave him a weird look and told him it wouldn’t be necessary. He certainly wasn’t going to fight about it, he wasn’t made of money.

His heartbeat skyrocketed as Ash and then Cas shuffled down the seats towards them, and he lifted his legs anxiously for Cas to pass him and sit with Charlie.

To say he was surprised when it was Ash that passed him and sat in the spare seat would have been an understatement, but his confusion overtook everything else. Why on earth would Cas pick him over his girlfriend? Was it that obvious that he didn’t want to be wedged between Ash and Charlie, two people he didn’t know?

“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas asked, setting the popcorn down by their feet. Dean stopped his nervous fidgeting, in case he did something mortifying, like knock over the giant bucket of popcorn. He just stared at Cas and tried to find his voice again, buried under the weight of his confusion.

“Uh, yup, I’m all good. How are you?” He had no control over what was coming out of his mouth, but he could still be horribly embarrassed about it. Cas just cocked his head to the side and smiled, clearly enjoying Deans stammering. Weird.

“I am good, Dean. You looked a little lost for a second there, I was worried.” Damn, he must have been so obvious in his confusion. The last thing he wanted, or needed, was to call himself out on it though.

“Nah, I’m good. I was just trying to remember if Crowley gave us any homework, that’s all.” A thinly veiled lie, but a lie non the less. He didn’t want to lie to what very well could be his new friends, and he certainly didn’t want to be caught out. He wanted them to trust him, so he could trust them in return. It was his, and Chucks, chance for a bigger social family, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up.

Cas just smiled and nodded, none the wiser of Deans deception. That was going to be the last time he lied to Cas, he swore it to himself.

The movie started just after Chuck came racing up the stairs, yammering about his dad not wanting him out late or something. Of course he choose to sit with Becky, but Dean gave him a sneaky wink which Chuck returned with a grin.

The first half of the movie slid by without incident, and Dean was absolutely absorbed. He found himself liking Charlie more and more, the way she laughed at the right moments, even on the things only he picked up on. He saw himself becoming fast friends with her, if he could get passed the fact that she was dating the guy that held his fascination.

At a particularly slow bit, Dean reached into the bucket of popcorn nestled between him and Cas on the seat, when he felt another hand brush his inside. He froze, not knowing exactly what to do. Should he yank his hand back and act like touching Cas was the grossest thing he’d ever experienced, or did he take it like he wanted, like it _felt,_ as if fire was rushing up his arm and exploding through his chest?

He was, _apparently_ , all for taking risks lately.

He dug slowly around in between the kernels, taking his time and bumping Cas’ hand more than once. He savoured the feeling of warm skin against his own, and the sweet tendrils of inexplicable desire a simple touching of hands could elicit. He managed to keep himself still, albeit barely, when he felt Cas gently stroke his hand with his pinkie finger, just the once, along the outside of Deans. It must have been a mistake, a simple twitch of the hand, because as suddenly as it was there, it was gone, leaving Deans hand alone and cold inside a bucket of buttery goodness.

Dean closed his eyes, willing the blush in his cheeks and the hammering of his heart to quieten. He opened his eyes when he felt movement next to him, and all the blood in his cheeks receded back to his aching heart as he watched Cas shoot up from his seat and practically run out of the theatre. Dean swallowed, and he just knew that it was bad. What had just happened was _not_ a good reaction. He’d just freaked the fuck out of Cas, straight, un-bigoted, open-minded guy that he was. His risk may have cost him everything, and it was a stupidly selfish risk at that. His face burned with shame, and he was very glad the dark of the theatre covered him from anyone else seeing.

He started to shift uncomfortably in his seat when Cas had not returned in a normal amount of time. Looking around, no one else seemed to think it was odd, so Dean sat back and tried to pay attention to the movie.

Cas finally returned, much longer then it took to use the bathroom, and Dean was sure he hesitated before he sat down. Maybe he should have moved and let Cas sit closer to Charlie, he obviously needed the comfort right now rather than be hit on by the strange new friend he had made.

Dean crossed his arms and refused to even think about going near the popcorn again, and Cas seemed to have the same idea. He set the half empty bucket on the floor between them, before leaning towards Dean. In his shock, Dean froze, fully expecting to be asked to move, or more likely, to leave.

“So what did I miss?” Cas whispered, his warm breath ghosting across Deans cheek, drawing an involuntary shiver from him. _Dammit,_ he couldn’t react like that every time he was near the other guy, but his body just wouldn’t have it any other way. He racked his mind for what had happened since Cas had been gone, but he came up with a blank, he hadn’t been watching either.

“Um, not a lot, some snarky comments between Iron man and Cap, that’s about it.” Dean tried to keep his voice low, but it was rough with emotion that he was having a hard time determining, let alone hiding. Cas just nodded beside him.

“Who’s your favourite?” Cas asked, voice quiet and strangely deep. Dean knew he could lie and say Black Widow, like any normal straight guy would say, but he had _just_ promised himself he would never lie to Cas again, so back to risk taking it was.

“Um, he’s not in this one, but I really like Loki.” Dean blushed, thankful Cas couldn’t see him. He enjoyed Loki’s trickster ways, even if he was a bit of an annoying dick sometimes. He was pretty hot as well, but if he was going for just looks he’d have picked Captain America.

Cas smiled, and Dean couldn’t help it when his eyes flicked down to Cas’ lips when he caught his bottom one between his teeth. He had incredible lips, they looked soft and slightly puffy, like he bit them often or –

Or they were _bitten_ often.

His heart aching and his libido sufficiently deflated, Dean stared straight ahead at the movie and tried not to think about Cas and Charlie kissing and biting each other. Cas just huffed beside him, and when he leaned in again, Dean fought the urge to lean away.

“My favourite would have to be Thor.” He seemed to stop and consider for a moment before continuing. “There’s just something about him.” Dean wasn’t expecting Cas to say that, but he tried to hide his confusion. Cas didn’t need to hide himself like Dean did, Cas had a girlfriend so that pretty much cancelled out any argument any one could make on Cas’ sexuality. He was obviously comfortable and secure enough for it not to be a big thing for him. Cas had obviously gotten over what had happened with the popcorn, and if he wanted to pretend like it never happened, well Dean could live with that. Pretending was his game, and he was the _master._

When the lights went up they all shuffled around, gathering up their rubbish and coats. It wasn’t too late because they had caught the early showing, so Dean was thinking about what he could look up later on the movie when Charlie approached him. He really hoped he wasn’t going to get a ‘stop stealing my boyfriend’ speech, because he was really not in the mood, not after the popcorn thing.

“Hey, Dean?” He turned to face her and smiled, hoping to look welcoming. It obviously worked because she smiled brightly back at him. “We’re all going back to Ash’s place, do you wana come too? Chucks keen, well, he’s keen on Becky and she’s coming so of course he is.” Dean chewed his lip, wondering what the hell too do. He didn’t want to seem like a party pooper by saying no, but he really didn’t want to make Cas feel even more uncomfortable either. He could just limit his interaction with him for the night, give him time to cool off… yeah, why the hell not.

“Sure, let me just text my parents.”

* * *

 

Ash’s place wasn’t too far from town, thankfully, but they had all squashed into Jo’s car to get there, so it was a tight fit. Dean tried his best to ignore Charlie sitting on Cas’ lap beside him, but every corner they turned sent one or both of them careening into him. Everyone was laughing and joking, and Dean tried his best to smile, but it felt strained and awkward. He knew he wasn’t fooling Chuck, because his best friend kept giving him worried looks every now and then.

He let out a sigh of relief when they eventually arrived at Ash’s place and all tumbled out of the car, well, _truck._ Jo said it was her moms, and Dean thought it made sense. His mom knew Jos mom, and he had seen her a couple of times. She was a terrifying woman that _no one_ crossed. He was pretty sure Jo took after her as well, from what he had heard.

They settled in the lounge room, everyone sprawled across various bits of furniture. Ash disappeared and came back with a bunch of food and drink, and some bottles of what looked like beer.

“You sure your dad won’t mind?” Jo asked, grabbing one for herself anyway.

“Nah, he won’t notice their gone.” Dean certainly noticed how everyone sort of gave Ash knowing, sympathetic looks. He didn’t even want to think about other people’s problems, which was probably a bit selfish, but he had enough of his own to sort through without adding other peoples to it.

Everyone talked amongst themselves for a while, and Dean could feel himself becoming more and more isolated. Cas hadn’t spoken to him since the movies, and he was beginning to think he wouldn’t bother again. He was just about to give some excuse so he could just leave, when Charlie sat up from where she had huddled by the couch talking to Cas.

“I’m _bored._ Who wants to play ‘Have You Ever?’?” She had a wicked grin on her face, and Dean went cold when he saw everyone else nodding. He knew what the game entailed, and that made him panic even more. Damn his new vow on no more lies, it was like the universe was trying to fuck with him on purpose.

Everyone moved so they were sitting in a circle, and Dean was seated directly across from Cas. He wouldn’t look at him, but it was hard considering he was right _there._

“Ok, this is really just to get to know the new guys, so we’ll start with an easy one.” Charlie tapped her chin with her finger, and considered. “Remember, drink for yes, don’t for no. Um, ok have you ever had alcohol?” Everyone in the circle drank, which wasn’t surprising. They were all seniors, so they would have drunk at some point.

Jo was next, sitting on Charlie’s right. That meant Cas was next. Dean wondered what he would ask.

“Hmmm, oh, easy, have you ever kissed anyone.” Dean felt himself heat, the blush saturating his cheeks, as everyone, even _Chuck,_ drank except Dean. He felt their stares, but just played with the tag on his bottle, too afraid of what he would see in their eyes if he met any of them. There wasn’t anything _wrong_ with the fact that he hadn’t been kissed, he was just waiting for the right person. The right guy.

“Well _that’s_ a shocker.” Dean looked up to see Jo staring at him with a smug smile on her face. “I told you guys that all those rumours were lies. Its ok, Dean, we’re not judging you. Hell, I _admire_ you for not giving it up to some random at a party.” She nudged Charlie when she said it, and Dean was flooded with relief. They didn’t care. They didn’t _care._

It was Cas’ turn, and Dean looked up to see him staring at him, almost in a considering way, like he was studying him.

“Have you ever liked someone, but were too afraid to tell them?” Alright, that just wasn’t fair. How in the hell had Cas hit one of his biggest insecurities right on the head?

Dean closed his eyes and drank, but opened them when he heard giggling.

“Your gonna have to be more specific, Cas. We’re teenagers, remember. We could drink about _that_ until we were passed out.” Charlie was laughing at Cas’ sheepish expression, but at least it took the heat off himself.

“Fine, but don’t blame me if you get embarrassed. Have you ever progressed to third base?” Dean knew Cas meant like, hand stuff under clothes, but he watched anyway as almost everyone giggled and drank, all except Cas, Dean and Chuck. He was surprised, maybe Cas and Charlie hadn’t been together all that long.

“Dean, why are you looking like your expecting me to drink? Do I seem like a hussy to you?” That earnt Cas more than a few good natured shoves and kicks. Dean blushed, but found himself blurting out what he _wasn’t_ going to say anyway.

“Uh, no, I, ah, well it’s just that Charlie drank so I sort of expected you to as well.” Dean trailed off quietly, realising quickly that everyone was staring at him in silence. Cas looked shocked, more than shocked, he looked _dumbfounded,_ and Dean couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.

“Can I ask _why_ you thought that, Dean?” Cas asked him a completely controlled voice. The conversation was hanging on a knife edge, and the whole room was overflowing with tension. Dean refused to be cowed, though, and he saw no harm in his observations. He sat up straight and looked Cas in the eye.

“I was under the impression that you and Charlie were dating. Was I wrong?” Everything seemed to teeter and fall as Cas exploded into gutsy, heaving laughter. Charlie was right alongside him, actually falling backwards in her mirth. Dean had no idea what was going on, so he just looked around hesitantly as the whole circle, expect for him and Chuck, dissolved into a laughing, crying puddle.

Cas eventually gathered himself back together and was able to talk first.

“I have no idea what gave you that idea, Dean, but I can assure you that Charlie and I are very much _not_ dating. I am single, while I think Charlie has a few _friends_ in the city, don’t you, Charlie?” He managed to sit her up, but she still had tears streaming down her face and was gasping for breath.

“Oh my god, Dean. Don’t tell anyone this, like, this can’t leave this room and if it does I’ll know it was you and I will find you, rip off your balls and make you eat them,” Charlie took a breath and Dean let that little threat settle before she continued, “I am like, the most raging lesbian this side of Kansas, trust me.” Dean felt his face flush with colour, and for a moment he didn’t know what to say. She said it so _easily_ andhe envied her enormously. A gay chick, however anyone looked at it, usually went over better in this town than a gay dude, though. Everyone said it was just a phase or they were exploring. Yeah, and dudes were incapable of doing the same.

“Oh, um, cool. Uh, congratulations?” Yeah, he really had _no_ idea what to say. Everyone seemed to find it absolutely hilarious, though, so he counted it as a win.

They quickly decided to watch another movie instead of continuing with the disastrous game, but Dean couldn’t have been happier with the result. He’d found out that Cas was single, which made things a hell of a lot less rage inducing, but no less confusing and awkward. Just because he was single, didn’t make him any less _straight._

They put on Harry Potter, because Charlie _insisted,_ but Dean wasn’t fussed. He wasn’t concentrating on the movie anyway. He was desperately trying to gauge Cas’ actions towards him, to see if there was _any_ hope at all. If he took the one example of them touching in the movie theatre, he would have thought all hope was lost, but he couldn’t think like that. He had to hold onto something, so he would try again, and if he got the same reaction, well fuck it, they could be friends, he could do that.

Well, he could _try._

They settled on the seats, and Dean claimed a spot for himself on the couch, with a space left beside him. He could curl into the arm of the chair if he wanted to get away, but Charlie had taken the other so there was a good chance Cas would claim the middle ground. When Cas came back from the bathroom, Dean snuck a sneaky glance at him and his heart beat painfully when he saw him hesitate and his eyes widen. That reaction could be seen as good or bad, so Dean didn’t count it. Cas played directly into Deans plan, settling himself between Charlie and Dean. Weirdly enough, he seemed to be sitting more towards Dean that Charlie, but he was probably looking into it too much.

Someone turned off the lights, and started the movie so once again Dean was left to darkness. He shuffled around and found a comfy spot, and tried to calm his thumping heart when he sneakily tried to shuffle closer to Cas. If the other guy noticed, he didn’t move or make a sound. Dean was taking a lot of risks lately, more than he ever thought possible, and it all seemed to be since he met Cas.

Dean let his hands fall to his sides and rest next to him on the couch, always totally conscious of how close he was to Cas. He breathed out heavily when he felt Cas shuffle next to him, getting more comfortable, or away from Dean. He was beginning to get slightly worried, when he felt a warm presence very close to his hand. He snuck a glance down to see Cas hand lining up directly with Deans. He gulped, not moving a muscle in case he spooked Cas into moving. He probably did it by accident, but that was ok, he could live with that. He would savour the warm body sitting beside him, and if he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend Cas was a little bit closer.

His courage was spurred on by the fact that Cas had a gay best friend, so if he didn’t like Deans advances, he would most likely just tell him and not make a thing of it. Dean didn’t have the balls to just outright tell him that he liked him, but he could hint and hope for the best.

Very slowly, so he didn’t take him too much by surprise, Dean slid his hand closer to Cas’ so they were touching. Dean smiled, biting his lip to keep from grinning his head off. The warm press of Cas’ hand had Deans twitching to hold it within his own, but he forced himself to hold still, needing to first judge Cas’ reaction.

He looked up to see Cas staring down at their hands, and Dean was worried for a minute he had made a terrible mistake. That was before Cas very gently and slowly, raised his pinkie finger, caressing Deans own in smooth motions. Dean closed his eyes and bit back a small sound from escaping. Who knew hands could be so damn arousing?

He looked back at Cas, to see if his face gave anything away. Dean watched as Cas’ throat worked as he swallowed, and was relieved to see that he was just as flushed as Dean was. Even in the dark Dean could see the red blush creeping along his neck.

Hoping to every deity that he wasn’t overstepping, Dean raised his hand and slipped it over Cas’. He heard Cas’ breath catch, and was preparing to make a tactful retreat when Cas flipped his hand over and twined their fingers together. He couldn’t, and didn’t want to, hide his grin that time. He looked over at Cas and could see through the dark his answering smile. Dean could feel his pulse thrumming quickly through his veins, and it warmed him to realise Cas was just as nervous as he was.

Dean swiped his thumb over the skin of Cas’ shaking hand, trying to calm his nerves. It was strange, their positions switched. Normally, it would have been Dean scared out of his mind, but instead he was steering Cas through the turbulent waters of lip biting arousal and hand shaking fear.

Cas shifted in his seat, and Dean was hoping it would be closer to him, but he just adjusted his jeans. Dean snuck a look; he was doing that a lot that night, and caught a glimpse of the bulge in Cas pants.

_Oh holy fuck._

Dean felt hot and tight, trapped in his own pants. He hadn’t even noticed his own erection digging in against his zipper. It was awkward with his left hand, but he managed to shift it so it wasn’t bent at an odd angle. He saw Cas grin at him, and gave his hand a tight squeeze. Getting a hard on with what they were doing was the natural reaction; he was a teenager after all.

He really wanted nothing more than to hide away from everyone else and take Cas in his arms. He could tell that the movie was almost over, and he was really dreading it ending. At that moment, they were encased in their own little bubble of happiness. As soon as the lights went up, that could all disappear in the harsh light of reality.

He hoped Cas would want something more from him, because he _definitely_ did. Maybe he would ask Cas, after the movie or something. Actually, he better give him some space to get his shit together, so he would give him as long as he needed.

When the lights flickered back on, Cas looked at Dean with wide eyes, before they slipped their fingers apart. Dean made sure to drag his fingers over the inside of Cas’ palm, then down his wrist in his retreat. Cas closed his eyes and shivered, before smiling softly, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth.

“All right, ya’ll can scurry on back to your own hovels now, papa wants ta sleep!” Ash yelled, and everyone laughed. Dean really liked his new group of friends. He hoped he could keep them. Chuck _certainly_ seemed to like their new found friends. Becky seemed especially enamoured with him, and when he heard them talking about his Fanfiction, he groaned. Well, at least he had another fan.

Walking to the door was a hardship he hadn’t known was possible. Everyone else had left them too it, almost as if they knew they didn’t want an audience. Cas shut the door behind him and leaned up against it.

“So, um, that was unexpected.” Cas scratched his eye brow, looking nervous as hell. He needn’t be, though.

“I didn’t… I was worried that… shit. I’m no good at words, Cas.” Dean scuffed his feet, equally as nervous as Cas. He didn’t know what to say, how to tell Cas that he was terrified he would get rejected. “I mean, I was really worried that you’d reject me or get freaked out, I mean, what happened in the movies – ” Cas cut him off, holding up a hand.

“You mean when I ran out? Oh, god, no, Dean. I had to get some air. I was boiling over even from a simple touch.” Cas smiled and took Deans hand, running his fingers over the vein on the back. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Dean couldn’t cope with all the strange emotions running through him, starting with a weird elating happiness and ending with heart stopping fear. It was one thing to come out to Cas, it was another to come out to the school, no matter how courageous he was at that moment. Cas must have sensed his fear, because he put a finger under his chin and made him meet his eyes.

“I’m not going to force you into anything, Dean. It’s your choice. Your friends know, and your family knows.” Cas raised his eyebrows in question, and Dean just nodded. “So that’s all that matters, really. It’s no one else’s business.” Cas grinned, an evil smile stretching his amazing lips. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to be someone’s dirty little secret.” Dean could tell Cas was trying to lighten the mood and make him feel better, but he didn’t want to hide Cas away like some mistress. He told him as much.

“It’s alright, Dean. We’ll go at your pace. I don’t particularly fancy being the source of the town’s gossip either.” He shrugged, keeping eye contact with Dean. He desperately wanted to get his arms around Cas.

“Um, can I – can I hug you, Cas?” He didn’t want to try for a kiss, he wanted it to be perfect, and a little bit of him wanted Cas to initiate it. A hug though, that was doable. Cas lit up and stepped closer to Dean, a shy smile filtering over his face. Cas’ arms slipped around his waist, and because they were pretty much the same height, Cas’ face ended up nestled in Deans shoulder. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ shoulders, bringing them flush against each other. Dean could feel Cas’ broad chest rising and falling against his own. He closed his eyes and sighed, tangling his fingers in Cas incredibly soft, think hair. Cas hummed against him, shifting so he was breathing against Deans neck.

Cas moved his hips slightly and Dean gasped when Cas erection accidently touched his. They both groaned, and Dean knew he had to stop, before he dragged Cas back inside and ravished him.

“Cas… god, _fuck,_ you have no idea what _you_ do to _me.”_ Dean leaned back, pausing to look at Cas in all of his aroused glory. He was flushed, slightly panting and was smiling goofily, all tooth and gums.

“I have to agree, Dean. We can’t just go rutting on Ash’s doorstep.” Cas drew out his phone, fingers swiping this way and that. “Um, could I have your number?” Dean almost laughed at the normalcy of the situation, and Dean nodded, bringing out his own phone. When they were done, Dean pocketed his phone and stepped back from Cas.

“So, I’ll text you?” Dean asked hopefully. He was beyond excited, but he had to keep cool. All of this was new to him, so he had to keep calm. Cas nodded, clearly just as happy as Dean. They hadn’t agreed on anything yet, but Dean was happy to go with it. They would build up to something more.

“Yes, Dean. I would like that.” Cas gave Deans hand one last squeeze before disappearing back through the door.

Dean’s mom gave him a bright smile when he got in the car, and he couldn’t help returning it.

“Everything go well, honey?” Dean ducked his head and looked out the window. Biting his lip to hide how much he wanted to grin and shout his joy from the rooftops.

“Yeah, mom, it went great.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos, keep them coming!
> 
> There are WARNINGS for this chapter, see the bottom.

School on Monday was… yeah, it was nerve wracking.

For some reason, Dean had the idea in his head that everyone would be able to tell that he had confessed his feelings, _sort of,_ to Cas. Every sideways look in the hall, every stopped conversation when he happened to walk past, just made him sweat even more. He took a deep breath and headed towards Art, hoping the sweet bubble of creativity would encase him, and make him forget for a minute that he had broken all of his own rules and let people know his most fiercely guarded secret.

Class had never dragged by so slowly before, and by the time he staggered into the cafeteria, he was strangely exhausted. The slow crawl of the day had seeped its way into his body and was dragging his ass down with it. Grabbing a tray, he spotted Chuck and made his way over to his friend, almost collapsing into the seat.

“Hey man.” Chuck sounded happy, which was good, otherwise Dean would have had to spend all of lunch trying to drag him out of his funk.

“Hey dude.” Dean picked at his food, then remembered what he’d wanted to ask Chuck. “Oh, how’d it go with Becky?” They had seemed to get on great on the weekend, so he hoped his friend had had a good time too. Chuck smirked, and that was pretty much everything Dean needed to know.

“Oh, it went pretty well. She wants to _hang out,_ if you know what I mean.” Dean just laughed, yeah; even he knew what that meant. He wanted to do the same thing with Cas, which made him shiver with anticipation. Unfortunately, Chuck noticed.

“Dude, stop thinking about, _what I know you’re thinking about.”_ They had both agreed to not talk about it bluntly, just in case someone overheard, but apparently Chuck was fine with using code.  “Don’t want you poppin’ a boner in class.” Chuck yelped when Dean flicked a vegetable in his direction.

“Ew, man, don’t talk about my boners.” They both laughed and earned a glare from the cafeteria monitor, so Dean casually let his gaze wander around the packed hall.

_Speaking of boner inducing…_

Cas and his friends were sitting on the other side of the hall, laughing and joking together. Charlie had her arms around Cas, but for the first time, Dean felt no animosity towards the red headed girl. He knew they were just really good friends, but he was still slightly jealous that they could be so carefree in their public displays of affection.

Dean watched as Charlie went back to her food, and Cas pulled out his phone. He wondered who he was texting, and thought back to their conversation the night before. It was simple and innocent, just what they had each done that day, how their families were. Despite the fact they hadn’t known each other long, and he didn’t really know what he was doing, Dean was desperate to take their relationship to _that_ level. He was a teenage boy after all; no one would blame him for wanting to get his rocks off with someone he liked, especially since that person liked him back.

He jumped when his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he hesitated to take it out. He didn’t like using it at school, just in case one of his wannabe _friends_ asked for his number. He only had it in case his parents or Sammy needed him urgently. Keeping the phone under the table, Dean thumbed it unlocked and opened the message. He couldn’t keep the grin, or resulting blush, from creeping across his face as he read the message. Dean could almost hear the way Cas said it.

**Cas: Hello Dean. Do you have your phone with you?**

Dean looked over at Cas’ table and saw the blue eyed boy watching him closely. Dean bit his lip, blushing further. He ignored Chucks groan and typed out a message to Cas.

**Dean: Hey Cas. Yeah I do :)** **  
**

Dean couldn’t believe he’d just used a damn smiley, but that was his life. He was fairly damn happy right now, and he didn’t think there was a hell of a lot that could deflate his happy bubble. His phone buzzed in his hand, making his heart jump. Dammit, when had he turned into a twelve year old girl with her first crush?  

**Cas: That’s good Dean. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to see you and not talk.**

Dean felt his whole face drop, as well as his stomach. It wasn’t fair on Cas that Dean had such a big problem with his sexuality going public. Why Cas even wanted anything to do with him was beyond him. He felt cold all of a sudden, like all the blood had rushed away from his arms and legs and was busy just keeping his cold heart above freezing.

 _Goddamn_ he could be dramatic.

He felt his phone buzz and looked down at it listlessly.

**Cas: I could see your face Dean. Don’t you dare think im unhappy with our arrangement.**

Deans heart stuttered back into action at Cas’ words, and he looked up to see him frowning back. He shook his head very minutely, but Dean caught it.

**Dean: im sorry Cas. Everything is just… it’s all new to me, you know?**

Dean had never been so honest with someone he hardly knew and it scared him. He didn’t want to get hurt, but a small part of him was beginning to trust Cas more.

**Cas: I understand Dean, don’t worry. Can we talk on FB tonight?**

Dean let out a breath and sighed, smiling lightly. Hell yeah he wanted to talk to Cas, he’d talk to him all day every day if he could.

**Dean: Hell yeah, sounds good Cas.**

He didn’t even care that he sounded over eager, because he knew Cas felt the same. Maybe he could even pluck up enough courage to ask Cas for something more…

_Yeah, well, it was worth a try._

**Cas: Fantastic. I hope you have a good day Dean :)** **  
**

**Dean: Thanks Cas, same to you :P**

Yup, he was officially a pre-pubescent girl.

“You guys are gross, you know that, right?” Chuck grinned over at him, and Dean knew he was joking. Chuck was happy that Dean finally had someone, almost, to call his own.

“Fuck off, Chuck.” He would have thrown more food at his friend, but the cafeteria monitor was glaring at them again, so he held back, barely. “Come on, only a few more hours until some semblance of freedom.” They rose and made their way out of the cafeteria after stowing their trays.

“Dude, we are trapped in hell.”

“Well, we do have the king of hell in residence.”

* * *

 

Dean lounged around on his bed while he waited for Cas to get online. He was nervous, thinking about what him and Cas would talk about. He wasn’t worried about not having thinks to talk about, but he  _really_ wanted to do  _other things_ with Cas, but he didn’t have the first clue on how to bring it up.

A ping from his computer had him scrambling up from his bed, his face almost hurting with how much he was smiling. He opened the message and his heart skipped a beat.

For fuck sake he was a walking romance novel.

**Cas: Hello Dean**

Grinning, Dean replied. He was glad he didn’t have to think much when he talked to Cas, because he was having a hard time concentrating that hard.

**Dean: Heya Cas. How was the rest of your day?**

**Cas: oh you know, boring and slow. You?**

**Dean: It was ok, I um, I liked texting you at lunch**

Goddamnit, even through the internet he was a nervous wreck. But he didn’t want Cas to think he _wasn’t_ nervous, either. God, he didn’t even make sense to himself.

**Cas: I liked it too Dean. Talking to you makes me feel good.**

Oh Jesus Christ, Cas was going to make him grow ovaries.

**Dean: Jeeez Cas, your makin me blush**

**Cas: That’s the plan Dean :P**

Wow, Cas had just out cheesed him.

Now to try and coax some fap worthy info from Cas.

**Dean: so, the other night, uh, were you serious about not having done anything with anyone?**

After he sent the message, he realised how rude it sounded. What if Cas thought _he_ thought Cas was some kind of hussy?

**Dean: Oh man im sorry, that sounded so much better in my head**

Dean chewed his fingers while he waited for Cas’ answer.

**Cas: That’s alright Dean, I know what you mean.**

**Cas: no, I haven’t done anything except kiss, Dean**

Dean couldn’t help the little spike of jealously that shot through him at the thought of someone else kissing Cas. He wondered who had taken that honour.

**Dean: who was your first?**

**Cas: Gabriel snuck me into Halo a few months ago. I am quite ashamed to admit that it was just some random on the dance floor.**

**Dean: im not judging you. I just um…**

**Cas: what Dean?**

**Dean: I wish it was me, that’s all**

He was definitely growing a vagina. Who the hell was he, vomiting all of his feelings all over Cas?

**Cas: You have no idea how much I want that Dean**

Dean groaned and thumped his head on the desk. Did Cas really just say that? He was going to end Dean, and he hadn’t even said anything really arousing. Dean shifted a hand down to his hard on, tracing the edges of the head he could feel through his sweat pants. Then he immediately felt bad, because Cas didn’t know he was getting off on their conversation.

**Cas: what are you doing Dean?**

Or maybe he _did._

Should he take the chance, just in case Cas was just as horney and keen as him, or should he sit back and take things slow?

 _Hells yeah he should take the chance_.

Didn’t mean he couldn’t be coy about it.

**Dean: What do you hope im doing? ;p**

He grinned as he watched the little chat bubble announce Cas was writing his reply, and returned his hand to his lap. He didn’t touch his dick, but the urge to was definitely there.

**Cas: I’ll be honest Dean, and I hope it doesn’t freak you out.**

**Cas: Please tell me if you feel uncomfortable**

Dean was honestly a little worried, but kind of happy, that Cas was so worried about him.

**Cas: but I really hope your touching yourself right now**

Dean groaned and felt a flush rush up his neck and paint his cheeks. Lucky he’d locked his door, the last thing he wanted was for Sammy to barge in and find him like _that._

**Cas: Dean? Im sorry, I thought… shit; I don’t know what I thought but im sorry.**

**Cas: We don’t have to, actually just forget I said anything.**

Dean laughed quietly at Cas’ freak out.

**Dean: I wasn’t freaking out Cas, don’t worry. I was just trying not to cum in my pants**

He hoped that doused Cas’ fears, because he _really_ wanted to, what was it even called, _sext?_ Yeah, he wanted to Sext with Cas.

**Cas: oh thank god, I thought I was going to have to have a guilt wank by myself.**

**Dean: you don’t have to do it by yourself… I mean… I could help**

He was a bit nervous, he really had no idea what he was doing, but somehow he knew Cas wouldn’t make fun of him or put him down.

**Cas: I would really like you to help me Dean**

**Cas: Id like to help you too.**

**Dean: Lol so, what are you doing? I um, iv never done this before.**

**Cas: Don’t worry Dean. Everything you say goes straight to my dick, your voice is like honey**

Dean moaned quietly at Cas’ words, shoving his hand down his pants. His cock was leaking and throbbing, and Dean knew he wouldn’t last very long.

**Cas: Ive got my hand wrapped around my dick, and trying to type coherently.**

**Dean: fuck Cas, I wish I was with you right now**

He wished that more than anything in that moment, the burning urge deep within him to wrap his body around Cas’.

**Cas: so do I Dean. I want that so much.**

**Cas: describe what you’re doing to yourself.**

Dean used the precome leaking out of his dick to slick the way, breath escaping in sharp bursts. He wasn’t going to last much longer, but he wanted to make it good for Cas.

**Dean: im stroking my hard cock Cas. Thinking about your gorgeous face and your deep voice. And your eyes, holy fuck your eyes are like looking into a perfect ocean.**

**Dean: im stroking faster, because im close. Im so close Cas**

**Cas: holy shit Dean**

**Cas: im close too**

**Cas: come Dean**

**Cas: Come for me**

Dean’s breath stuttered in his chest as an almost overwhelming wave of pleasure engulfed him. Hot come coated his fist as he spurted load after load, thinking about Cas’ voice and the words he had written him.

Before the shakes had left him, Dean managed to message Cas.

**Dean: come Cas, oh god please come for me**

**Cas: im coming Dean**

**Cas: im moaning your name Dean**

**Cas: oh god its everywhere**

Dean laughed, he couldn’t help himself. The euphoric feeling after a good orgasm had settled over him and he was done. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed with Cas.

**Dean: you ok?**

**Cas: I have never come so hard in my life Dean.**

**Cas: I don’t think you realise how hot you are Winchester.**

**Dean: I could say the same to you, Novak.**

**Cas: I really wish you were here right now Dean, I just want to curl up in bed with you.**

Dean felt his heart squeeze with emotion when he saw that Cas wanted the same thing that he did.

**Dean: You have no idea how much I want that Cas.**

Dean sighed and reached for the tissues he had recently repurposed from the bathroom. He really didn’t want come on his key board, so he made sure to clean each of his fingers and hands thoroughly. Cas’ message snapped his eyes back to the screen.

**Cas: we were thinking about going to the lake this weekend, do you want to go with me?**

Dean smiled; trust Cas to find a way for them to hang out together without attracting suspicions. He promised himself then, that he would take Cas out on a proper date one day soon, no matter what.

**Dean: Yeah Cas, that sounds awesome.**

**Cas: I cant wait Dean :)** **  
**

**Cas: now tell me what Chucks working on right now.**

Dean chuckled, yeah, Cas was pretty awesome alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR 
> 
> \- Underage Sexual Exploits  
> \- Masturbation


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all your cute comments and kudos!
> 
> Sorry this is a short chapter, the next one will be longer, and with more plot, i promise!
> 
> Please remember to leave comments and kudos!
> 
> Warnings at the bottom!

When Dean had agreed to go to the lake with Cas and his friends, Chuck included, of course, he had completely neglected to think about one very important, very _alarming,_ fact.

A lake meant swimming.

Swimming meant taking items of clothes off the body.

Being half naked.

_Cas being half naked._

He just stood there, mouth hanging open, towel in hand, as he watched a _nearly naked Cas_ run and dive into the water after a squealing Charlie. Dean moved the towel so it was positioned in front of his dick, because at that moment, it was taking a particular interest in seeing all the smooth, tanned skin on display. Namely, Cas’.

Dean managed to make it over to where Chuck was sitting, and was more than happy to see that his friend hadn’t taken any of his clothes off yet. That meant Dean had some time to calm his shit down before he would be dragged kicking and flailing into the water.

“Hey man.” Chuck seemed to be watching Becky closely, and if the awkward way Chuck was sitting was any indication, he was having the same problem as Dean.

Damn teenage libido.

“Hey. Sorry I’m late, had to drop Sammy off.” His mom had asked just before he’d left if he could take Sam to Andy’s house instead of her. What was he going to say, no? He was going that way anyway.

“All good. We pretty much just got here anyway. So… you talk to Cas last night?” Dean had told him at school that Cas had wanted to talk, so it was the least he could do to tell his curious friend what had happened. Minus the sexting, of course.

“Uh, yeah. We just talked.” Dean was a man of few words, but Chuck didn’t need many to read between the lines. Or Deans blush. Chuck just snorted.

“Yeah, _just talked,_ sure. Good for you man.” Chuck clapped him on the shoulder, and grinned. “You deserve it. Hey, maybe we could double date?” Chuck cackled evilly when Dean groaned.

“What about a date?” Becky threw herself down next to Chuck, who immediately turned away from Dean with a wink and started whispering things to her. She must have liked whatever he had to say, because she giggled incessantly.

He was just wondering where else he could sit to get away from being a massive third wheel, when Cas staggered out of the lake, _dripping wet,_ and made his way over to him.

_Oh holy god_

Cas wasn’t as heavily muscled as Dean, but it was definitely starting. His chest and torso were hard lines of sinew and strength, his pectorals jumping with the cold. As he got closer, Dean could see his dark, dusky nipples were hardened and perky. He swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly devoid of all moisture, despite the large expanse of water before him. Dean let his eyes rake downwards, following the line of perfect abs and the vee of Cas hips. His heart was hammering by the time his eyes caught Cas thin happy trail, and Dean found himself wondering what it would feel like beneath his lips as he kissed his way down.

His eyes wandered further down the trail, and he found himself staring at the wet outline of Cas’ cock, which was startlingly obvious from as close as he was.

“Like what you see, Dean?” Cas was grinning at him, and Dean could understand why. He had just blatantly ogled Cas the whole walk up from the shore and he hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away. Dean blushed, feeling the heated blood race up his neck and drench his cheeks. It felt like all the blood in his body was in his face, well, all of it that wasn’t in his raging erection.

“Um, yeah, I really do.” Best to go with the honest approach with something like that, and Dean loved the wide eyed reaction it got from Cas. There weren’t any other people around from school except Cas and his friends, so Dean felt bold. He looked up when Cas didn’t sit down immediately, and he was surprised by the shy smile he was met with. He smiled back at him, and his heart leapt when Cas bit his bottom lip, as if deciding where to go from there. Dean just groaned and fell backwards onto the grassy shore. “Dude, sit down, _please._ ” He didn’t even care how wrecked he sounded.

Especially when Becky giggled and managed to drag Chuck further down the shore.

Cas finally sat down and Dean turned towards him, so they were both laying on their sides. They were too far apart for Deans liking, but before he could say anything, Cas scooted forwards until their noses were almost touching. Deans heart was hammering in his chest, and when he realised his position, nor his towel, protected _anyone_ from seeing his boner, he bit his lip and tried to bring his leg up to hide it.

“Dean… you don’t have to hide it from me.” He knew what Cas meant, obviously, but that didn’t stop him from being embarrassed about it. Yeah, they’d had some fun the other night, but they hadn’t talked about what they were yet, and hell they hadn’t even kissed!

He needed to call into the shop before he went home to buy some _fucking tampons_ because obviously he had _just gotten his fucking period._

Internal girly freak out aside, he stood by what he thought. There was a certain set of rules laid out, and he didn’t really want to get to third base before he’d even taken first.

“I know, Cas, I just – I’ve never done anything like this before, and I’m not sure where to go from here.” Damn him and his feelings. He was spouting his feelings everywhere, more so than he had with anyone else, like, _ever._ He didn’t know what it was about the dark haired, blue eyed guy laying across from him, but he trusted him almost as much as he trusted Chuck.

“It’s alright, Dean.” Cas smiled at him softly, and tentatively reached over to place his hand on Deans hip. “As you can see, I’m having the same problem.” Dean looked down and had to choke back a moan when he saw Cas’ shorts straining to contain the huge bulge trying to escape.

“Holy shit. I don’t – fuck. I really want to kiss you, Cas, can I?” Deans entire body was buzzing with excitement, fear and arousal, but his heart _still_ managed to stutter and almost explode when Cas smiled, his whole face reflecting the happiness he felt.

“I would like that very much, Dean.” He watched as Cas liked his lips, the action drawing his eyes and making him wet his own. He hoped Cas wouldn’t be disappointed that he didn’t know what to do, but how hard could it really be?

He closed his eyes when he felt Cas shuffle closer, the other guys warm breath ghosted across his mouth. Dean’s breath hitched when he felt the first press of a soft mouth against his, and he fought the urge open his mouth and let Cas take whatever he wanted. He had some idea of how kissing worked, hell, he’d seen enough porn, so he knew he had to take it slow.

 _That_ idea was shot to bloody pieces when Cas moved even closer, and brought their trapped erections together. Dean moaned when he felt Cas’ hard length move against his own, and Cas wasn’t much better. He gasped against Dean’s mouth, open and inviting, so when he saw his chance, he took it. Dean’s tongue traced the outline of Cas’ lips carefully, looking for any sign he was doing something wrong. Feeling pretty bold, he bit down gently on Cas’ lower lip and huffed out a moan when Cas’ hand on his hip dug in almost painfully.

_Must’ve done something right._

Dean slid his tongue in further, testing the waters of Cas’ mouth. He tasted like toothpaste and chewing gum, and Dean found himself wanting to scoop the taste right out of his mouth. His hands had found their way to Cas’ hips, and he pulled him as close as he could until their chests were nestled against each other and their cocks were lined up, _hard._

He was _very_ aware that their friends were still around, but they were far enough away, or like Chuck, similarly engaged, so they wouldn’t notice what they were doing. Dean had a good idea that their friends wouldn’t disturb them anyway.

Dean’s lips felt puffy and tingled, but he just couldn’t stop kissing Cas. His tongue, his lips, his teeth, everything was a mass of heat and slippery euphoria. Feeling Cas’ hard on grinding against his own sent sharp shocks of pleasure shooting up his arms and legs. A burning heat was building in his belly, and yeah it meant he was getting to the edge, but he wouldn’t actually come from what they were doing.

“ _Dean,_ oh god, I feel like…” Dean reluctantly disengaged himself from Cas mouth to pant into it instead.

“What, Cas?” Dean was still grinding his hips against Cas, chasing fuck knows what, but he didn’t want it to end. Cas moaned when Dean increased his movements, and he had never felt so fucking _alive._ He had Cas reduced to a puddle in his arms, he felt on top of the world, he was –

Oh, _Oh no, no no no._

He was coming before he even knew what had happened, a warm, wet feeling spreading across the front of his pants. He moaned and shuddered his way through it, clinging to Cas shamelessly. Luckily, Cas held him through it, whispering to him quietly and moaning when Dean did. They were both panting by the end, but Dean really didn’t want to leave the protection of Cas’ shoulder.

“Dean?” Cas whispered, stroking the back of Deans head. He actually really liked it, the feeling of Cas’ warm hand in his hair.

“I’m really sorry, Cas. Fuck, I can’t believe that happened.” Dean was beyond embarrassed. He had _never_ come prematurely before, but he guessed he was just so riled up by Cas that it was inevitable. Cas moved them so they could look each other in the eye, and Dean was surprised, and more than a little relieved, to see a shy smile on his face.

“I – I don’t mind, Dean. You, ah, aren’t the only one who got a bit too excited.” Dean’s eyes widened in surprise, and he quickly looked down to see a similar wet patch across the front of Cas’ shorts. Cas laughed quietly, drawing Deans eyes back to his blue ones. “I actually take it as a compliment, believe it or not.” Dean smiled, a small shocked laugh bubbling up and out of him.

“Jesus, Cas. Your something else, you know that?” Dean kissed Cas, pulling back when their smiles made it almost impossible.

“I hope that’s a good thing, Dean.” God he wanted to ask him out properly, but he didn’t know how. Did people date first? Could he just ask him to be his boyfriend?

_Was that his dick and balls escaping up into his body to make way for his vagina?_

He had no idea what to do, but he was going to do it anyway. The worst Cas could do was tell him what he wanted to do, because he was clearly interested. Time to put on his big boy pants.

Ok, here goes everything.

“Cas?” The other boy looked at him, head tilted to the side in that ridiculously cute quirk of his. “Um, I was wondering…” Damn he was bad at this talking business. He blushed when Cas threaded their fingers together, and brushed his thumb over Deans knuckles. He could do it, god _dammit._ “Cas, would you like to be my boyfriend?” Dean looked him in the eyes when he asked, determined and strong, despite the cooling come sticking him to the inside of his shorts.

His heart almost exploded in his chest when Cas grinned, an honest to god, teeth and gum filled face cracker.

“That would make me very happy, Dean.”

“Awesome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR 
> 
> \- Sort of sex i guess?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am real sorry this is so late. Ive been super busy!
> 
> Please Leave Comments!!
> 
> WARNINGS FOR
> 
> \- Masturbation

Dean kept the memory of their kiss with him all through Sunday, but he was itching to see Cas again by the time Monday rolled around. He never thought being in a relationship would feel as good as it did, but he guessed that was why people got into them. The fact that he could talk to Cas about anything, including awkward sexual stuff, not that he had, yet, was an added bonus.

He honestly couldn’t keep the stupid smile off his face, and he just knew his family had an inkling something was up. It didn’t help that Sam ran around the house on Sunday yelling ‘Deans got a boyfriend’. He chased him at one point and wrestled him to the ground, tickling him until he almost threw up. They both cried laughing afterwards, and it was the first time in a long time he had felt that light inside.

Dean practically ran through the doors at lunchtime, and when he spotted Chuck sitting by himself, he grabbed a tray and hurried over.

“Hey man, how was class?” Chuck looked up from his food in shock; Dean could see it written all over his face. He guessed it was because Dean was in such a good mood, but then his friend grinned.

“Yeah, it was alright. You seem awfully _chipper,_ this morning.” Chuck narrowed his eyes at him but he was still grinning. They both knew what was up, of course, but that didn’t mean Chuck couldn’t tease him for it.

“Shut up, dude. How’s Becky?” Dean grinned when Chuck winked at him.

“Oh, she’s _very_ good.” They both laughed, delighted with the fact they both had partners. Dean jumped when a tray was set down next to his, and he turned to see Cas smiling shyly down at him.

“Um, is this seat taken?” Dean burst out laughing at the cheesy pick up line, and almost died when Cas finished with, “I guess not then.” And sat down. He was almost delirious with how happy he was, he didn’t even care if people saw them together in public.

Fuck what everyone else thought, he deserved to be happy goddammit.

“How have your classes been?” Dean asked, when his brain finally kicked back into gear. He noticed Cas had sat down but kept a respectable distance between them. Their table was backed against a wall, and in a corner, so no one could see what they were doing on their side. He didn’t want to give Cas an awkward boner in the middle of the lunch room, but he also couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself, especially when Cas _insisted_ on wearing shorts. He slipped a hand down between them and proceeded to run his fingers lightly up and down Cas’ muscular thigh. He blushed despite himself when Cas’ breath hitched in his throat, and he clenched his plastic cutlery so tightly Dean was sure they would snap. No one was paying them any attention, but he could see Cas’ blush creeping up his neck.

He didn’t want to embarrass his _boyfriend,_ that word still felt weird to him, so he stopped teasing. He grinned when Cas let out a shaky breath and moved in his seat. Dean almost choked on his food when he saw Cas subtly adjust his hard on under the table.

School raced by, and before he knew it, he was picking Sam up and heading home. His brother jabbered on about something that had happened at school, but Dean just couldn’t bring himself to concentrate. He was too busy thinking about when he could see Cas alone next, and what they would do –

“Dude, stop thinking about your boyfriend.” Sam snickered at him from the passenger seat, so when they stopped at a red light, Dean leaned over and whacked him.

“Shut up, bitch.” Dean tried to tickle Sam before the light turned green, but his brother just whacked his hand away.

“Quite it, jerk. Anyway, I uh, I asked Jess out, like you said.” Dean almost swerved into oncoming traffic. His goofy little brother had asked a _girl_ out. “She said _yes,_ Dean. I was wondering, could you take us to the movies on Saturday night? I’d ask mom, but yeah. I hate to admit it, but you’re less embarrassing.” Dean grinned as they pulled into the driveway.

“Of course I’ll take you, Sammy.” He couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do than escort his little brother on his first date. Well, there were a _couple_ of things. That got him thinking though… “Hey, do you mind if Cas tags along?” Sam just shook his head and grinned.

“Nah, Dean, bring your boyfriend, but don’t sit near us!” Sam sounded horribly worried Dean would crash his predictably awkward date.

He’d have his own to worry about.

* * *

 

Saturday night found Dean having to change his shirt twice, he was sweating so much. Luckily, Sam was way too worried about his own date nerves to tease Dean about his.

“Come on boys, you better leave now, or your gonna be late!” Dean sighed unsteadily and checked himself one last time in the mirror. He was wearing black skinny jeans, and he liked the way they clung to his legs. His Henley stretched over his muscular chest, topped off by a flannel and his leather jacket. He hoped Cas liked it.

The car trip to the movie theatre was silent and tense. Cas and Jess were meeting them there, thank god, otherwise Sam would have probably passed out.

Time for some brotherly advice.

“Dude, ok, if you want to hold her hand, just go for it. She’s agreed to this date, so chances are she’ll be ok with a little touching.” Sam just nodded, and opened the door. Dean wished he had an older brother to give _him_ some advice. He stepped out of the car and made his way over to the ticket booth. He worried his lip while he was in line, because he didn’t know where Cas was, and if he had his ticket yet. If he didn’t, well, he’d get it for him. That was what good boyfriends did, wasn’t it?

He breathed a sigh of relief when he caught sight of Cas walking towards him, hands in his pockets, a smile on his face.

“Hello, Dean. Sorry I’m late.” Cas grinned at him, but didn’t touch him. Dean ached for Cas’ hand in his, but they had agreed to no public displays of affection. He could tell Cas was thinking the same thing, the way his eyes kept flicking to his lips. Dean licked them self-consciously, and he was _certain_ he saw his boyfriends eyes widen.

“Hey, Cas. Nah, no problem. Are you pumped for this movie or what?” They were going to see The Maze Runner 2, which looked pretty awesome. Plus, it had his second favourite character from Teen Wolf in it, a major bonus. He smiled at the chick running the ticket booth, and she blushed back. _Dammit,_ he hadn’t meant to turn on the charm. “Uh, hi, can I get two tickets to the Maze Runner and a large popcorn?” He ignored Cas’ protests, and collected their purchases from the end of the kiosk.

“Dean, you didn’t need to do that.” Cas whispered to him as they made their way to the theatre. Dean just nodded and smiled, trying to also keep an eye on Sam and the blond girl he was with. Jess seemed like a nice girl, a bit shorter than Sam, but pretty damn stunning. Even if she was only fourteen, Dean was allowed to _assess_ on his brothers behalf. In his opinion, she was a touch out of Sam’s league.

“Yeah, I did, Cas.” He leaned over as they sat in their seats at the furthest back corner of the theatre. “This is a date, remember?” He caught Cas grinning, just as the lights went down.

The movie was epic, as expected, but halfway through, Dean caught sight of Sam using the old _yawning arm_ trick. His brother had _game._ He was still grinning over Sam’s success, when he felt a nudge against his leg. He looked down and saw Cas poking his thigh. He then flattened his hand, palm up, when he saw Dean was looking. Dean looked back up at the screen, heart thumping in his chest. It was ridiculous of course; they had rubbed off on each other and kissed by the lake, for fuck sake. Holding hands in a cinema should be a piece of cake.

Try telling his heart that.

He swallowed past his dry throat. He could do it. He slid his hand over and intertwined his fingers with Cas’. He sighed when Cas squeezed his hand, and he couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“Are you enjoying the movie, Dean?” Cas whispered, warm breath caressing his ear. Dean shivered, and his dick twitched in his jeans. Hmm. He should have expected that when he put them on. They were _way_ too tight to entertain an erection.

“Yeah, Cas, it’s pretty… _exciting.”_ Cas actually snorted at Deans cheesy line, but that was the point, so he was happy. He shifted in his seat and tried to adjust himself, but it was no use. His dick was hard and squashed awkwardly down his leg. Oh well, it was uncomfortable, but it could wait until he got home.

The movie finished with both Dean, and Cas, shifting awkwardly in their seats. Dean reluctantly unclasped Cas’ hand from his own, and he could tell Cas was just as disappointed. His big blue eyes practically stared at his lips as the lights went up, and when Dean bit his bottom one, Cas actually fucking _whimpered._

“Cas…” It came out as more of a soft moan than anything else, but the blush that coloured Cas’ cheeks was worth it.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I –” Dean cut him off with a shake of his head.

“No, you have nothing to apologise for.” He was telling the truth; he didn’t want Cas thinking he had to feel bad for the way he made Dean feel.

Dean found a blushing Sam loitering near the doors, hand in hand with Jess, who looked pretty damn happy too.

“Hey, Dean. Uh, this is – this is Jess.” Jess smiled, and looked at Sam out of the corner of her eye. Yeah, she liked his little brother _a lot._

“Nice to meet you, Dean. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She smiled cheekily at him, and Dean saw Sammy having a run for his money when it came to snark.

“I bet. So we gotta get you kids home.” He smiled at Cas, and his boyfriend scowled when he realised he had been included in the description.

Sam walked Jess up to her door when they dropped her off, which Dean thought was pretty damn chivalrous. It gave him a chance to give Cas a quick peck, which then turned into Cas pushing his tongue halfway down Deans throat. Not that he was complaining. Cas’ lips were soft and warm, sliding against Deans own. He swallowed Cas’ soft moan and held it close to his heart.

Cas pulled away quickly, just as Sam opened the back door. Dean internally praised Cas’ excellent hearing.

“You did good tonight, Sammy.” Dean looked in the rear vision mirror, and saw his brother grin in embarrassment.

“Thanks bro, I think she wants to go on a second date.” His little brother looked at him with wide eyed shock, and Dean had to physically push down his laugh. Poor Sammy.

Dropping Cas off was different, with Cas kissing Dean on the cheek and Sam making gagging noises in the back seat. Stupid little brothers. A promise to text later and they were off back home.

Dean said a quick goodnight to his parents and Sam, and left them to their interrogation of their youngest son. Dean almost ran to his room, stripping quickly and flinging himself into bed.

**Dean: Please tell me you’re in bed.**

He wasn’t even nervous, because he knew Cas wanted the same thing. His phone buzzed, and he grinned.

**Cas: I am, Dean.**

**Dean: Awesome.**

**Dean: ok, I’m sorry, but I’m way too horny for you to wait.**

**Dean: Please tell me you’re touching yourself.**

He left off the _like me,_ because that could be seen as going too far. He was so damn horny for Cas that his cock was hard and dripping in his hand, without so much as a tug.

**Cas: Thank Christ for you, Dean Winchester**

**Cas: I have my cock in my hand, wbu?**

Dean groaned, and closed his eyes, because he knew he wasn’t going to last long, not with Cas being so damn blunt.

**Dean: I’m thinking about what you’re doing, rubbing my cock, Cas. It’s leaking everywhere.**

If Cas could be blunt, so could he. Dean thumbed the head of his cock, smearing the pre come around. It felt so damn good, like fireworks shooting down his dick.

**Cas: I am not going to last very long, Dean.**

**Cas: I am thinking about you, and thrusting up into my hand.**

Dean groaned quietly as he read Cas’ text, his hips jumping slightly. He’d never done anything like it before, but he found that he really liked dirty texting with Cas.

**Dean: I’m getting so close Cas.**

**Cas: Same, Dean.**

**Cas: Come for me, Dean. Moan my name.**

Dean moaned, fist flying as he neared his orgasm, and he whispered Cas’ name as his cock pulsed onto his stomach, smearing the white liquid across his skin. He panted as the haze cleared, and replied to Cas as quick as he could.

**Dean: I came, Cas, oh fuck it was good**

**Dean: I moaned your name**

He bit his lip when Cas didn’t reply, but decided to give him a couple of minutes. Maybe he’d comed his brains out and had fainted. Dean grinned when he thought of Cas moaning his name. He cleaned up, and snuggled down in bed, deciding he should probably text Cas again.

**Dean: How was it?**

He hoped he didn’t sound clingy, but he was starting to get a bit worried. He frowned, and turned off his phone, waited thirty seconds and turned it back on. When his phone started buzzing incessantly, he almost threw it at the wall.

_Stupid mother fucker of a fucking phone._

What a time for it to freeze.

**Cas: Oh Dean**

**Cas: I’m coming, oh god, Dean.**

**Cas: um, Dean?**

Dean hurriedly typed out an apology, but he still felt terrible. What a way to end a great night, god fucking dammit.

**Dean: I’m so sorry, Cas, my phone froze.**

**Dean: Was it good?**

He chewed on his lips as he waited for Cas’ reply.

**Cas: That’s alright Dean, I just wanted to make sure you were ok.**

**Cas: and it was excellent, but would have been better if you were there :)** **  
**

Dean blew out a breath, a small smile spreading across his face.

**Dean: I know what you mean, man.**

**Cas: Its quite late, Dean, would it be alright if we went to sleep?**

He didn’t want to stop talking, but it was getting pretty late. He reluctantly typed out his goodnight.

**Dean: All good, Cas. Goodnight, I’ll text you tomorrow :x**

Oh god, he just used an emoticon. Fuck.

**Cas: goodnight, Dean :x**

Dean lay back in his bed and closed his eyes. Yeah, life was pretty damn good.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry that this has taken so long! I know exactly what i'm gonna do for the plot now, so yay!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! 
> 
> Bit of a warning for homophobic language, and prejudice.

Dean was on top of the world.

For once in his life, everything was going exactly how he wanted it to. He didn’t have to hide around Cas, his parents _loved_ his boyfriend, and Sammy thought he was awesome.

The weeks flew by, and Dean couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. His teachers even noticed an improvement in his attitude, they even sent a letter home to his parents congratulating them on good parenting.

John and Mary thought it was hysterical.

Pushing the school doors open, him and his friends laughed and talked until they had to disperse to their own lockers. Cas’ was all the way down the hall, much to Deans unhappiness, but that was alright. He was still hesitant to be overly affectionate with Cas in public, but small things like staring at his ass or looking into those pretty eyes wasn’t going to attract attention.

He felt… _happier,_ more so than he had in a long time. Looking back to before he knew Cas, or had so many friends, he actually might have been a little bit depressed, without actually realising it.

“Winchester! Are you going to answer the question, or are you too busy thinking about your next conquest?” One teacher he _really_ didn’t like was Mr Roman. He was such a _dick._ Which was ironic, really, since his name actually _was_ Dick Roman.

It didn’t stop Dean blushing like crazy. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck, and invading his cheeks. Charlie sent him a sympathetic look, but he just stared at his books. He hated being the centre of attention, but some teachers loved singling out the quiet ones, even if it made things about one hundred times worse for them.

Then _Gordon_ opened his mouth.

“He hasn’t got any _conquests,_ sir.” He sneered in Dean’s direction, but Dean wouldn’t turn to look at him. He wouldn’t give the bully the satisfaction of a reaction. “He’s too busy hanging out with that _faggot_ Novak.” Snickers and high fives met the comment, but all Dean saw was _red._ How dare that homophobe insult his boyfriend?

Before Dean could really think about what he was doing, he was over his desk and throwing his fist into Gordons shocked face. He managed to get a few good blows in before the dick bags friends’ man handled him away, with Mr Roman shouting at them all to stop.

“Winchester, principles office, _now.”_ Dean was still panting, but at least he wasn’t hurt. He collected up his things, and passed Charlies desk, when the red head grabbed his hand. She gave it a small squeeze, and tucked something inside his still clenched fist. He smiled at her softly, and left to find out what his punishment was going to be.

On the way, he opened the small, folded piece of paper, and smiled when he saw Charlies slanted scrawl.

_Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew._

Deans heart ached, because that was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him. He folded up the note and put it carefully into his pocket.

The school principle, Naomi Tapping, was fair but strict. She didn’t tolerate violence or bullying in her school, even though it happened all the time. The students just knew how to keep it a secret. Wasn’t much of a secret if you punched someone in the face, right in front of a teacher.

Principle Tapping pursed her lips and frowned at Dean, almost as if she wasn’t sure how to handle him.

“Can you explain to me _why_ exactly you punched Mr Walker?” She didn’t look pissed, just curious. Dean wondered if his parents had been called.

“He insulted one of my friends. I didn’t appreciate the language he used to describe him, it was derogatory. So what if he likes guys, he can’t use words like _faggot._ ” Dean huffed, because he hadn’t actually meant to go on a rant. It was such a dirty word, there were far better ways to describe someone who liked guys.

“I appreciate that it was wrong of Mr Walker to use that kind of language, but that didn’t give you the right to react the way you did.” Principle Tapping laced her fingers together and gave him a stern look. “I have called your parents, and explained the situation. Because this is your first outburst since you started here, I’m letting you off with a warning and a week’s worth of detention.” She stood and opened her door, indicating for Dean to leave. “If I hear of any more of this kind of behaviour, I will not hesitate to suspend you, is that clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He was so relieved to be let off so easily; he didn’t notice eyes following him when he left the Principles office to go to his locker. Class had been let out, and the hallways were full. As he unlocked his locker and started putting his books away, he became aware of the glances and whispering.

Rumours, it seemed, travelled fast.

_“I heard that Novak guy is his boyfriend.”_

_“He punched Gordon to stick up for him.”_

_“Which one do you think takes it?”_

_“Why are the hot ones always gay?”_

Dean felt _sick._ He hadn’t realised one simple punch would start the rumour mill turning. Although, he should have seen it coming. Everything had been too perfect. He had been too happy. He could feel the blush on his face, clearly stating his lack of innocence in everything. His heart was beating too fast, sweat dripped down his back.

He didn’t _want_ anyone to know about him, unless it was his friends and family. He didn’t want their judgements or ridicule; he knew what teenagers, hell, _what the town,_ were like. Everyone would be watching him, trying to see what part of him was different.

Dean flinched when he felt a hand on his back, and he swung around, face draining of blood when he saw it was Cas. The one person he didn’t want to be seen with, especially with everyone standing around.

“I heard what happened.” Dean couldn’t talk, couldn’t even _breathe._ People were watching them, pointing and snickering behind their hands. “Dean? Are you alright?” God, Cas was just so _good._ Dean was a mess; he was going to destroy him.

He slammed his locker shut, and ran. Well, he walked as fast as he could without it seeming like he was running from his problems, because he totally was. He needed to get somewhere safe, somewhere quiet, where he could freak out in peace.

Dean made it home in record time, and he was surprised he hadn’t been pulled over. He was probably driving erratically and he was sure he’d sped through at least one stop sign. Hell, he was lucky he wasn’t dead.

He locked the door to his room and collapsed onto his bed, shaking and gasping. He couldn’t believe everything had come crashing down with a single punch. Gordon was such an _asshole._ He had probably spread the rumour as soon as he’d escaped the nurse’s office. Him and his buddies had probably text everyone they knew.

He cried harder when he thought of Cas, what he was probably thinking. Dean had just left him there, at school, to face everyone by himself. He had his friends, but it was different when you were together.

_If we’re even together anymore._

Cas would probably realise what a waste of space he was, and dump him for the pathetic lump that he was. He didn’t think he _could_ cry any harder, but apparently, he was wrong.

He didn’t know when he passed out, but he was awoken by a pounding on his door. Great, now his parents were going to rip him a new one for bunking on school, just what he needed to finish a spectacular day.

Dean rubbed at his red, stinging eyes, and unlocked his door. He wasn’t surprised to see his mom on the other side, but he was surprised by her tears.

“Oh sweetie. Sammy text me about what happened.” Great, even the freshmen had heard. Fan fucking tastic. Dean didn’t say anything; he just shuffled back to his bed and lay down in the foetal position. He just wanted to be swallowed up, and never have to deal with anything like it again. His mom followed him in and wrapped her arms around him. “Do you wana tell me what really happened?” He really appreciated that about his parents. They didn’t just assume the rumours were true; they waited until they had the whole story before they passed judgement.

Dean relayed the whole story, from what Gordon said, right up until he managed to get home. He was sobbing again by the end, but his mom just held him and rocked back and forth.

“Do you think Cas hates me?” Dean’s head felt like it was full of lead, and his nose was clogged as hell. He must have looked a right mess, but his mom just shook her head.

“Dean, that boy thinks the world of you. He is so mature for his age; I doubt a few high school rumours are going to put him off.” Dean really hoped so, because if Cas did break up with him… he didn’t know what he would do.

Mary and Dean both looked up when they heard a noise by the door. Sam, with his big puppy dog eyes, fiddled with his sleeve and kicked the door. Mary patted Dean on the back and kissed his head, because she knew the brothers needed time to themselves.

“So you punched Gordon.” Sam didn’t phrase it like a question, but Dean nodded anyway. Sam looked unhappy, but not angry about what Dean had done. “Was it because of what he said about Cas?” Dean’s heart ached at the mention of the other guy, so he sighed to try and chase it away.

It didn’t work.

“Yeah, he called him a fag, so I punched him in the face. I’d do it again, too.” He was surprised, and Sam looked the same, but he couldn’t deny that he was right. No matter the consequences, he would stand up for Cas every time. The thought made him proud of himself, but didn’t dispel the unease he felt about what was going to happen.

“I’m proud of you, Dean.” Sam drew him into a hug, and Dean gladly returned it. “For standing up for him, for showing Gordon that it’s not ok to treat people badly.”

“Thanks, man. That means a lot.” Sam didn’t realise how much his opinion meant to Dean. If Sam thought he had done the right thing, then he could rest a little easier.

He hadn’t checked his phone, and he didn’t want to. After Sam left him to do his homework, Dean didn’t really know what to do with himself. He couldn’t go on Facebook, because he was sure there would be all kinds of comments about him.

He played a bit of Age of Empires on his laptop, but he was restless. What he really wanted to do was talk to Cas, and apologise, but he didn’t want to get dumped over the phone. He was surprised Chuck hadn’t called, but his friend knew he would call him when he was ready, so he supposed that was fair.

Dean sighed, and had just started to think about dinner, when there was a quiet knock on his door.

“Come in.”

His mom entered, and she looked concerned. “Cas is downstairs, honey. Do you want to see him?” Dean’s heart leapt, and then plummeted. Did he want things to end in the living room, where everyone could see his heart break, or in the privacy of his bedroom, where he could then wallow in peace?

“Can you send him up here?” His mom smiled a little, and nodded. She trusted him.

“Of course, honey. I’ll send him right up.”

Dean sat up and tried to straighten his bed out. He brushed off his rumpled clothes and tried to tame his hair. He didn’t know why he was bothering, Cas clearly only came to do one thing.

So when Cas opened the door and launched himself at Dean, he was caught slightly by surprise. Cas was stronger than he looked, and practically tackled Dean onto the bed. All the air left Deans lungs in a huff, and then Cas was _kissing him._

If Cas was dumping him, he was doing a pretty crap job of it. If it was the last time he was going to feel those gorgeous lips though, he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity. He threaded his fingers through Cas’ hair and held him close, moaning when Cas nipped at his bottom lip. Cas was relentless, and Dean was hard and shaking by the time Cas broke their connection to breathe deeply.

“I can’t believe you _punched_ someone for me, Dean.” Cas was breathless, flushed and looked downright adorable. His big blue eyes shone, almost like they were reflecting his very soul. God, he loved him, he really, truly, loved Cas, and it broke his heart that it could all be over. Well, go out with a bang, and all that.

“I did it because I love you, Cas.”

Absolute and utter silence met his confession, and Dean was terrified. He was sure Cas wasn’t even breathing, but he hadn’t moved from where he was stretched over Dean. After the day he’d had, he couldn’t stop the tears that began to leak from his eyes, so he turned away to hide his shame, to let Cas leave without seeing Dean break open before him.

“Dean…” _Here it comes, the first time you say those words, and he breaks up with you._ “I love you too.” Dean’s eyes snapped open, just in time to see Cas’ shy smile.

“You – you do? But I thought – I thought you’d come over here to break up with me.” His fear was met with confusion. Cas tilted his head and Dean just wanted to start kissing him all over again. He didn’t, though, because he needed to find out what Cas was thinking.

“Why on earth would you think that? Because of today?” Dean swallowed, and nodded. “Oh, Dean. I’ve had rumours follow me all my life. I wouldn’t let them interfere with my relationships, especially not ones I hold so dear.”

“So, we’re good? We’re ok?” Dean _needed_ confirmation, because his heart really couldn’t handle any more. Everything felt lighter when Cas smiled at him, his beautiful eyes crinkling in the corners.

“Yes, we are so beyond good.”

* * *

 

Cas and Dean talked for hours that night, and by the time Cas had to leave for his own house, they had come to a decision.

Chances were, the whole school would already be talking about their relationship, so there really wasn’t a better time to make it official, in school terms. They were lucky their school didn’t have any rules against Public Displays of Affection, like some places. Dean read somewhere that at some schools, people weren’t even allowed to hug or hold hands!

In his mind, there was nothing wrong with touching. It taught people to accept other people’s boundaries and what was good and bad. If they didn’t have that in public, the only place to learn was in private, and that could be dangerous.

So come Monday, Cas and Dean walked into school, hand in hand.

Dean was nervous as hell, and his stomach was actually _painful_ with nerves, but he had Cas, _and_ he didn’t have to hide anymore. He was so _proud_ that Cas was his. That he had managed to attract and retain such an amazing person. Cas was everything Dean wished he was himself, charming, confident and badass. He didn’t take anyone’s shit.

“So I’ll see you at lunch time?” Dean turned to look at Cas, who was smiling happily despite people still looking at them. Well, fuck them. They could date whoever they liked without someone staring at _them,_ so why couldn’t Cas and Dean do the same?

“Yeah, save me a seat.” Dean leaned over and kissed Cas, smiling into it. Cas bit his lip and laughed huskily when some girls behind them squealed.

“There’s something just so _naughty_ about freaking people out.” Dean laughed and slapped Cas’ retreating ass. It felt so _freeing_ to be able to do what every other normal couple did at school.

Of course Gordon had to go and ruin it.

“So your one of them too, eh, Winchester?” Gordon and his minions crowded around his locker, blocking both of them from the view of the hall. A small tendril of fear wound up Deans spine, but he ignored it. Gordon couldn’t do anything to him.

“I’m one of what, exactly? Your gonna have to spell it out for me, if you can spell?” He didn’t know where all the snark was coming from all of a sudden; maybe he’d learnt it off Cas. Gordon just looked even more pissed.

“You better watch yourself, boy. Accidents happen.”

Dean watched Gordon and his cronies stalk off, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that crept over him. He couldn’t be sure that Gordon wouldn’t do anything, especially not when Dean knew his dad was one of the biggest homophobes he’d ever met. Kids learn from their parents, and Dean was sure the apple didn’t fall far from _that_ particular tree.

He gasped when he felt a hand on his lower back, but smiled when he turned and it was just Cas. His boyfriend smiled at him, and Dean returned it. He wanted to kiss him so bad, but he thought they had given the other students enough fodder for one day.

“What did that asshat want?” Dean chuckled; Cas could certainly come up with some inventive names. Dean just slung his arm around Cas and steered them towards their next classes.

“Don’t worry, it was nothing.”


End file.
